C'est La Vie

What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy. And I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words..
I really think I'll be ok. They've taken their toll these latter days.
-- Over the Rhine, Latter Days


2001.04 2001.05 2001.06 2001.07 2001.08 2001.09 2001.10 2001.11 2001.12 2002.01 2002.02 2002.03 2002.04 2002.05 2002.06 2002.07 2002.08 2002.09 2002.10 2002.11 2002.12 2003.01 2003.02 2003.04 2003.05 2003.06 2003.07 2003.08 2003.09 2003.10 2003.11 2003.12 2004.01 2004.02 2004.03 2004.04 2004.05 2004.06 2004.07 2004.08 2004.09 2004.10 2004.11 2004.12 2005.01 2005.02 2005.03 2005.04 2005.05 2005.07 2005.10 2005.11 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.06 2008.07 2008.08 2008.09 2008.10 2008.11 2008.12 2009.01 2009.02 2009.03 2009.05 2009.07

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Contact Me

by email
change to proper format: pattyt81 at hotmail dot com
(I hate Spam)

By mail
(contact me for my new address)

Other Weblogs I enjoy
(In no particular order)

Katy Raymond


Recommended Readings

A Grief Observed

Wishful Thinking
Frederick Buechner

Divine Conspiracy
Dallas Willard (may never finish)

Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven
James Bryan Smith

Recommended Listening
(from my collection)

The Hymnal, Arkadelphia
Randall Goodgame

Land of the Living
Eric Peters

Laryngitis, Longing
Katy Bowser

Walk [EP], Carried Along, Clear to Venus, Love and Thunder, and live bootlegs
Andrew Peterson

In the Company of Angels
Caedmon's Call

Delusions of Grandeur
Fleming and John

The entire CD catalog
Eddie From Ohio

Bootlegs including Eddie From Ohio, Rich Mullins, David Wilcox, and Andrew Peterson

Things I love
(AKA: Ways to win my heart)
Music, gift certificates, ice cream, music, chocolate, meatballs, music, books, knowledge, music, good movies, music, animals, art supplies, music, cotton candy, fajitas, music, safety, music....

Things I wish I owned and could listen to or read
found at Relevantmagazine.com,
and at pastemusic.com, too

Monday, July 13, 2009

A few months ago, I posted about Eric Peters and his request for patrons to help fund his new album.

That album is being released in just over a month, a good bit earlier than I think he was initially seeing as likely. The progress he's outlined on his blog sounds fantastic, and I'm very much looking forward to hearing it! Eric has some of the songs that have, in the best possible way, gotten stuck in my head as I pondered the lyrics or as they've served as a soundtrack to certain moments of life. I've related, learned, cried, laughed, and been blown away time and again listening to his music and seeing his shows.

It's been years, of course, since I've seen anyone's shows.... but the music went right over to Bahrain with me and traveled well.

Please, seriously, please go to http://www.ericpeters.net/2009/07/11/chrome-release-day-pre-orders/ and pre-order a copy or two. Discounts with multiples.

Also, if you're in any position to do so, it would be great to fill one of the "Patron Saints" slots that remains and help fund the album process a little further. It's a great deal in what this offers (materially --- two albums, two concert tickets, etc --- plus you can have the albums personalized for gifts!), and also a fantastic way to get involved in a process when your part is usually so after-the-fact.

He's got a kids book out and for sale, too (and just as personalizable).

Hope you take the time to check this out and place an order. You'll be glad you did!

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Friday, July 03, 2009

I'm on my way home!!

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

My internet has been acting funny today (as is usually the case here) and I just lost the post i typed up because i forgot to copy it beforehand and forgot about blogger's autosave feature before ruining it with this fake update.


well, i don't have it in me to start over. Much of it was rambling anyway .... which is probably what you've come to expect from me, but i'm trying to get better about that.

I need to get off this computer now and do something productive with my day. I will have to come back sometime later on, hopefully when my internet is being a little better behaved. If that ever happens before I get back to the States.

So.... more, later. Can't say soon, because it's been forever since my last post and I didn't mean for that to happen. I've also not been catching up on other blogs as much lately. I'm just so darn sick of computers by the time I get home from work and my attention span is also shrinking after getting so drained every day... but hopefully soon.

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Wednesday, March 11, 2009


I have been sponsoring a child in Uganda through Compassion for several years now. The chance to watch her grow up from 8 years old to 16 has been incredible, and it's so wonderful each time I get a letter (and I get a few each year!) to hear about how her family is doing and how well she's doing in school.

Compasion has put together Global Food Crisis day to help focus everyone on the Global Food Crisis so that those of us with a bit of excess can give to an organization that will directly help those with not enough.

Please consider making a donation to Compassion's GFC fund today and spreading the word to those you know. We can bring nourishment and hope to those who are struggling. Thank you!

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Sunday, March 01, 2009

(I've been meaning to mention that for roughly the past month I've been maintaining just over my high school weight, which is much less scary than being several pounds less than that. I went out this past weekend and bought some clothes that actually fit me, so that will be a good way to see if my size is doing well or I'm still out of control... the last few times I've bought jeans here that fit perfectly, they were falling off within a month... here's hoping these ones don't have that problem.)

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Quick update about the animal adventures. There is a small zoo-like-area here, and I went there with a new friend the first week of the New Year. It was really great to get out and see all of these animals. I figured out that I need to go earlier so that I can spend a full day there and really explore the zoo, but this was a good introductory trip.

There was a tour group going around seeing the larger animals kept in more secure fences, and everyone was snapping photos, pointing, and talking a little bit as we went around to most of the animal habitats. When we got to the giraffes, though, most people gasped or got silent for a moment, and then there was a flurry of very excited chatter. Perhaps it was the sunset taking place right behind their majestic heads, or the fact some were eating in such a cute way, like this one:

Another animal that, if not getting a reverential type of attention such as the Giraffes got, at least was common within the grounds, was the ostrich. They had at least two and maybe three varieties (plus emu), and one was actually pretty cute. You don't get to see him yet. Instead, here is the really gross looking one. Aptly named, and with what "Redneck" means to Americans, I thought it just that much more funny.

(I don't know if you can actually see the details of the sign, but if so you can see more of what day-to-day English is like around here. This is a professionally made sign, but it's just 'not quite right' ... NQR, as some of us call it.) ... whether or not you can see the details of the sign, if you didn't see the surprise behind it, look again... He blends in a little, but he's watching you!

This is just gross. You can see his scaly little nostril. I've gotta say though that they did have pretty eyeballs... the nice shape of the eye is somewhat distracted from by the rough skin and the fuzzy eyelashes, but the eyeball itself was really quite pretty.

Now, this one is just plain gross. He's blinking, so he looks a little possessed.

After getting rid of all the pictures that were just trash, I was still left with 500 from this day, about four-hundred of which were just ok. Another fifteen or so are just good for their textures, but then the rest are actually pretty decent photos. Of course, I've gotta go through and correct some of the just-ok pictures to make them more visible, so perhaps that will promote a few, because all of these pictures I've already posted needed that treatment.. I think I had my camera settings wrong that day (I was using my Nikon) and I really need more practice to not have to color-correct every photo I take!!

Now I'm about to be late for work if I don't leave right now, so ... bye!

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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Ok, I wasn't really waiting for Kaly to post again before I post. I don't know why I haven't posted in so long... I had been in a funk for a while, but I really made some strides in coming out of it about two weeks ago, only to get sucked into work hours that made my pre-holiday hours look scant.

In my (apparently futile) attempt to unwind after long workdays and on what time of weekends I do actually get off, I've ended up getting sucked into a lot more TV viewing than I ever previously have. It's amazing to think that not so long ago I didn't even own TVs, and that since I didn't have cable at my last place and therefore only watched network television, and then only when it wasn't too fuzzy, I still wasn't much of a TV watcher even when I did have all necessary equipment. I still remember when I was hosting a sleepover for the jr. high girls I used to work with, and one of them brought her father's portable TV/VCR combo so that we could all watch a movie that evening. All memories aside, I've been watching a lot of TV since arriving here a year and a half ago, and it surely hasn't improved my life but I do think it's helped me feel more at home.

Since they don't have a TV guide book and since the programming can change frequently, part of watching more TV means regularly browsing the websites for the various stations to see what they're showing. I have mentioned here in the past how one of them has some pretty humorous attempts at describing their shows. One current example is the plotline for American Idol: "New Season Of Uncovering Vocal Gems" (Next week they'll show the Jacksonville auditions) ... Even better, though, is the summary for Alias:
Operating Cindy Bristow (Sydney Bristow) Kamjendeh Organization SA. De -6, where you think in the beginning that the organization is working with the government owned, before they discovered anti-government after the death of her fiancé by agents working for the organization.

What was that?

They do, on all the various cable channels here, show quite the mix of movies I wouldn't expect to be shown here (such as Syriana, The Kingdom, and others that take place in this region... though I must say that The Kingdom does show an accurate understanding for the mentalities and the thoughts that have led to some of the attacks on the western world, and I really recommend that everyone watch this movie) and movies that I can't help but wish were never made (perhaps more accurate than I'd care to admit, but certainly uncomfortable for me to even see the previews for)...

All of this to say that I've certainly not been torn away from many of the comforts of home, right down to nearly-recent seasons of favorite shows (and not-so-favorite) ... only the commercials are entirely different, and of course having more than the Spanish bumblebee as foreign-language entertainment when I flip through the channels.

Well, I've been rambling about stuff that surely isn't very important or exciting back home, and yet it's so much a part of my life here and something very important in a way, in the connection it brings me.

On to things that might be a little more interesting:

Actually, mostly, those will be saved for future posts. How future, yet, I don't know, but I'm tired of saying I'll post soon and then not doing it.

But as a little preview, here is one picture from my recent adventures. I recolored the sky to increase the contrast and more accurately reflect the sunset taking place when I actually snapped this photo, and I was pretty pleased with the overall result.

In my next post, the even cuter picture of the giraffe, and some of the other animals I saw during the first trip I took in the New Year.

For now, though, I'm off to bed. Goodnight!!

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Within hours of that last msg, my internet went down. So I can jump on a really, really, really slow connection every now and then to check for urgent messages and such, but that's it. Grr.

So, hopefully it comes back up and I can post some of the photos I wanted to soon....

Until then: I hope your New Year is going great already!!

(3) comments
Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year, everyone!

I don't actually have enough room on my hard drive yet to do much with pictures, so the photo updates will have to wait further into this new year.... soon, I hope.

I have just gotten in from the New Year's celebration I went to. It's not the New Year yet for my hometown and anywhere else I've ever lived, but it's getting closer. By the time I wake up today/tomorrow it won't even be the New Year in California for my father unless I sleep through my alarm. I might very well just not set my alarm. At any rate, it is still nice to think about the time differences on a night like this.

Last year I was with mostly Americans, most of whom I'd known for the several months I'd been here at that point, and it was a large party, but not a wild one (just a few particularly memorable moments) with lots of food, playing cards, watching movies and tv, etc....

This year, I have just returned from a very international party, with folks from all throughout the Middle East, Europe, Asia, and North America, and one African. I wasn't aware of anyone there from South America or Australia, but perhaps there was one or two and I just didn't bump into them. It was not a large party, just a small representation from each country, but it was nice hearing such a mix of accents (English, of course, was still the language of the evening and only a few people not from the same country spoke the same languages --- such as the Canadian speaking French, whereas the Germans and Spaniards and Arabs didn't speak French...and I only spoke a few words) and about so many different New Year's customs all around the world. The food, most of it ethnic holiday favorites from the countries of the attendees, was all delicious, the company was all friendly, and the actual moment of New Year's found everyone counting down in English from ten to one and then six of the French popped out the corks on their champagne bottles and everyone cheered. It was different from a typical American party, but in a cozy and comforting way... a beautiful night of people from all over the world coming together and compromising on their own customs and traditions to have one unified celebration. Not that there wsa any particular *effort* put into this, mind you --- there were no dialogues or treaties beforehand, there were just a couple of moments of saying "oh, don't wish me Happy New Year before midnight, because that's bad luck" or similar cultural explanations that helped make it a nice party for everyone, without stepping on anyone's toes.

It was a great evening. And now I'm so tired my eyes are tearing up, so I'm off to bed.

Happy New Year, boys and girls! May the good Lord pour out His wise blessings upon us all, and grant us the great blessing of insight when He does.

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Monday, December 29, 2008

Yes, it's been more than a month. I didn't want to finish out the year with no posts in so long, and there's been so much I wanted to put up here (this morning's will be a photoless blog but hopefully soon i'll have time to crop a few down) but when I've actually tried, my internet connection was down (it relies on not having people in the building using up all the bandwidth downloading movies and such) or the words just wouldn't come....

My wanderlust is getting oh-so-much-stronger, which is saying a lot since I'm always up for travel... I still hope to go visit the Ozzies if possible, or at least go somewhere nearby since I probably won't be living in this part of the world again.. who knows, though, what the future will bring.

With that, I'm off to work. But a real update should follow in short order.

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This has been a fantastic evening.

After several weeks of REALLY long work-days (mostly ten or more hours) and working on many weekends, and this week in particular we had four days (since our Monday is on Sunday, so we only have tomorrow off and Friday is our normal weekend) and all of them were 11 to 14 hours at work... and we just have the three day weekend because we'll be working again on Sunday and I need to put in probably ten hours on Saturday as well and maybe I'll go in tomorrow after our little department Thanksgiving meal... so my point is that it's been a rediculously long week following a rediculously long month, and it seems it won't let up as we had hoped it would next week, but instead might go well into December...

So anyway, tonight when we were supposed to be getting off early as people often do the day before Thanksgiving, and we were cut loose by our boss at about 3:30pm (ok, an hour and a half instead of the half-day most people get, but it's something), but that's when the REAL work started. So by 6:30pm when I was finally so ready to fall over that I sent a few "I'm not ignoring your pay issue, I just wouldn't fix it correctly if I tried to do so right now" e-mails and then left for the evening.... I went and grabbed my friend Jen who was also still in her office for who-knows-what reason, and kidnapped her back here so that we could try to relax for one evening and recover from a crazy week.

(She, like myself, has also had some crazy stuff going on in her personal life that makes the out of work time that much less relaxing as well...)

It's Thanksgiving Eve, and we know all the rules about not starting with Christmas music, decorations, or anything else until after Thanksgiving... but we bucked the system and had an evening of eggnog and chatter, and then I popped in Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God DVD, and as she cried at some of the songs and I reminisced inside my head about the old days before I joined when I used to actually see this concert live and even went to Nashville to be with the community I used to be a part of (and miss terribly) and see the musicians I used to see in concert, this beautiful music kept weaving through the story behind the coming of Christ.

If you don't have this DVD or at least the CD already, I cannot recommend it highly enough. Seriously, let me know, and I will buy you one. Seriously. (It's a tax refund. Your taxes pay me, of course.) Just give me your address and I will get it ordered and mailed off to you right away.

This was the most perfect way to kick off the Christmas season that I could have found while here, and I am really Thankful for Jen, eggnog, and the BtLoG DVD.

I am Thankful for so much this year, and I am so much looking forward to where next year will find me. Perhaps in Nashville again whenever they do the BtLoG concert there, and perhaps with many new and wonderful things to be thankful for, as well as the return of some familiar old faces and hobbies/activities.

Four and a half years in, 16 months here so far. It's been a Long, Long journey. The next eight months are going to fly right by!

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to announce that Mousey Brown has now happily and safely relocated to a more appropriate environment. I tried to catch a picture as I let the mouse out of the bag, but she jumped too high and then ran too fast and all I caught were the rocks in the area into which I released her, FAR away from my building!

Shelley is still keeping me company here, of course. And I think that other than the soil that got everywhere from MB diggin through my plants, and the soil bag that no longer has one of its major edges or the cardboard box that can't really stand on its own too well anymore now that the corner seams have been chewed all to bits, it seems the only other real damage were the little presents she left for me... all in all, so far it seems she didn't do toooo terribly much damage while in residence.

And now that I've done nothing I needed to do this evening (and I mean really needed to do), I'm off to stay up late sewing and ironing and such... goodnight.

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Within the last week, I have said goodbye to both of the two guys from my Navy Ball pictures. These are two of the people with whom I've been spending most of my time out of my apartment (whenever I wasn't working or sleeping, which was only so often) over the last four months. The other two such people (but for the majority of my time here, not just the last four months) both left in September. This has made me a bit sad, along with the fact that these two recent departurers are some of the ones I was referring to in another post who had partially vanished from my life over the last two weeks or so. Since I can't go out here alone, which is something I GREATLY miss doing, it is that much more important to have friends who enjoy going out to the same types of places.

I do have two new girl friends with whom I spent the evening last night, which was, to make an understatement, a much better way to spend the evening than working as I thought I would be until 11pm. Fortunately, we were able to leave instead and I ended up not going in today either as I was originally going to, because I was sick again, but I actually would have rather been at work today than here being sick. I have lost all the weight I gained back and then some, I think, and the jeans that fit me so perfectly and comfortably when I came here now fall down several inches if I don't wear a belt, and I've had to add extra safety pins around the waistline of all my skirts. Anyway, tomorrow should be a nice day if I keep getting better as I have been throughout this evening, and maybe I'll get to go try out the new camera equipment I just got in (I bought the lenses and some other accessories from my wish-list tracker to go with my D80). THAT is something to look forward to!

Mousey Brown has evaded every attempt I've made to trap her without injury and take her outside, and she has also apparently tried to dig her way to China through my potted plants. So that was pretty upsetting to me, to see my aloe and my wildflower sprouts all disheveled (or is that de-shoveled?) and injured, with soil all over the floor and the back of one couch. The good news is that I think I know where she hides when I'm around, and it just so happens to be in the box in which I am storing my extra soil, seeds, etc, so I should be able to just put a big plastic bag around the whole thing and take it outside to release her far away from buildings, where she can fight it out with the rather large local stray cat population.

Shelley, on the other hand, has become a rather welcome addition to my nightly routine, waiting to hear her starting up her songs, and being able to tell it's still not time to wake yet if she's still singing. (Although the sun rises here very, very early, I keep the thick curtains in my room shut and the neon from the nearby buildings still leaks in, so it's not easy to guess the hour without concentrating too much for early morning)... I doubt I will ever catch her for outdoor release, and she seems content enough as far as I can tell, so I just try to somehow get food close enough to where she stays that maybe she will get over her fear of me enough to reach it. I still have the large paper cup stuffed with some of my old spinach stalks and paper towel pieces sitting there near the fridge, too, so that if she ever does decide she'd like to be released outside as well, I can do so.

That has been my life lately. Oh, and one other thing:

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Saturday, November 15, 2008

Finally, some pictures from when I went to see the boat up close:

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Hippie: (after hearing Max wants to avoid the draft)You still have options man.
Max: Yeah, jail or Canada and they both suck. I mean I could never come home, so what is it, it's a choice of a 6x4 cell or an endless wasteland of frozen tundra.
Hippie: Montreal is cool.
Max:Man, they speak French there.
Groupie: So learn French. Learn French or die.
-- Across the Universe

"So how do i do normal
The smile i fake the permanent way
Cue cards and fix it kits
Can't you tell - I'm not myself
-- Frou Frou, Hear Me Out

"It's been known for a train to jump its track. It's ok, so you'll know, most times they come back. It's ok to lose your life, when you finally see your birth. It's ok to say, "I love you," and figure sometimes it's gonna hurt.
Don't forget to bring kindness, don't forget to say thanks. Don't forgot to spend your love, no it will break the bank. Don't forget to bring some empathy, for the saints and the sinners. Don't forget to bring encouragement. Yeah, we're all just beginners."
-- Bill Mallonee, Bank

"As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first, but then by the end you're sick of 'em!"
-- (The late) Mitch Hedburg

"Hey, this is weird! I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it!" "You're kidding! What a crazy random happenstance!"
-- Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"Only one more trip," said a gallant seaman,
As he kissed his weeping wife,
Only one more bag of the golden treasure
And 'twill last us all through life.
Then I'll spend my days in my cosy cottage
And enjoy the rest I've earned;
But alas! poor man! For he sail'd commander
Of the ship that never returned.
Did she never return? She never returned,
Her fate, it is yet unlearned,
Though for years and years there were fond ones watching
Yet the ship she never returned.
--The Ship that Never Returned, Henry Clay Work

"It was Flannery O'Connor who said that 'grace must wound before it heals.' Her words help me to separate what is most true about life from the things we want to be true. We want life to be painless. True grace is a hard sell because in order for the human heart to understand forgiveness and love, it must first experience darkness and isolation. A life lived under the rule of grace is a life of need which allows us to receive an appreciate the gift of the giver of grace. This is why we will always have the poor with us; this is why God will not allow us to ignore injustice; this is why we are called to a life we cannot handle alone, which can and will break us in the effort to live it -- because grace must wound before it heals."
-- Justin McRoberts

Regarding 2007:
"the year has gone quick, but most of the days haven't"

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup !
And surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gies a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.
--Robert Burns, "Auld Lang Syne"

I thought Christmas Day would never come. But it's here at last, so Mom and Dad, the waiting's finally done. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up, it's Christmas morning.

Did my sister get a baby doll? Did my brother get his bike? Did I get that red wagon, the kind that makes you fly? Oh, I hope there'll be peace on Earth, and I know there's goodwill towards men, on account o' that baby born in Bethlehem.
--Rich Mullins, You Gotta Get Up (Christmas Song)

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie,
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by;
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight.

O Holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend to us we pray,
Cast out our sin, and enter in,
Be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels,
The great glad tidings tell,
O come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Emmanuel.
--L.H.Redner, "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, now
And cherish every step
For a life well spent
On this earth we're lent
Will be marked by the void you have left

May you conquer (not curse) challenges
May you hold back the dark like a dam
May you lead your life with lion's roar
May you leave it like a lamb

Don't await rewards for your good deeds
A reward won't make them good
Don't await judgment of any foes
They'll receive just what they should

When you find the axis of this world
Don't tread too far inside
Run away as far as you think you can
Be well and enjoy the ride

Walk humbly, son
And store your pride
When you need strength later on
For your life's work will be judged if earth
Is saddened when you have gone

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, how
And forget not where you are from
May you go further than those before
And provide for those to come

Will you walk humbly, Son?
--Eddie From Ohio, Walk Humbly, Son

Strings of lights above the bed
Curtains drawn and a glass of red
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

Saxaphone on the radio
Recorded 40 years ago
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

When you play my song
Play it slowly
play it like I'm sad and lonely....

Weatherman says it's miserable
But the snow is so beautiful
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

It would take a miracle
To get me out to a shopping mall
All I really want for Christmas is you
--Over the Rhine, from Snow Angels

"In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna travel around the world
Gonna see it all

Gonna go to Paris, maybe Rome
But I'll feel better miles away from home,
Gotta figure some things out

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here

In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna spill my heart to every stranger in every town
I'll visit castles in Ireland, have some fella play the violin and play a song for me

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here
--Rosie Thomas, Sell All My Things, from Only With Laughter Can You Win

"Please tell me once again that You love me. That You love me. Please tell me once again that I matter to You and You really care. Please tell me once again that You're with me, forever. It's not that I could ever doubt you, I just love the way it sounds. I just love the way it sounds."
--This Train, I think it's from a song on Emperor's New Band.

"Every once in a while, a bannerzen posts."
--Me, during the 2002 Boredeys at Cornerstone Festival

"7:30. What kind of people have to be at work at 7:30?"
--Mr. Holland's Opus

have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
whose face lights up my day
i won't let one boy steal a kiss
or call me his instead i'll wait
for his voice to call out to mine
and carry these daydreams away
have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
who won't let me get away
please tell him that i'm
waiting for him praying for him
night and day for now i'll be a
lonely girl just longing for his sweet embrace
--Rosie Thomas, Have You Seen My Love, from When We Were Small

Traveling is significant because it takes so much effort. Either you're going to some place you love, or you're leaving some place you love. Usually it's both.
--Friend of a friend of a friend

I think I have Bond's ability to get into trouble but not his ability to get out of it. Someday I'll be in some foreign country with 5 thugs with automatic rifles pointed at me, and I'll just.... fart
--Peter, my twin brother, while we were talking about bicycle accidents.

"You had no alternative .. We must work in the world. The world is thus." --- "No .. Thus have we made the world."
-- The Mission (a movie)

The summer ends and we wonder where we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And you both look so young And last night was hard, you said You packed up every room And then you cried and went to bed But today you closed the door and said "We have to get a move on. It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead, We push ourselves ahead."
And it was cloudy in the morning And it rained as you drove away And the same things looked different It's the end of the summer It's the end of the summer, When you move to another place
--Dar Williams, End of the Summer

Looking out the bedroom at this snowy TV.. ever since commencement, no one's asking 'bout me. But I bet before the night falls, I could catch the late bus.. take small provisions and this Beethoven bust. I could find work in the outskirts of the city, eat some fish on the way.. befriend an old dog for a roadside pal, find a nice couch to stay -- a pull-out sofa, if you please!"
--Eddie From Ohio, Fifth of July.

Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us --belle and sebastian, Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying

"The trouble with folks like Brownie is they hold their life in like a bakebean fart at a Baptist cookout and only let it slip out sideways a little at a time when they think there's nobody noticing. Now that's the last thing on earth the Almighty intended. He intended all the life a man's got inside him, he should live it out just as free and strong and natural as a bird."
--Leo Bebb in Frederick Buechner's "Treasure Hunt"

"Life is a phantasmagoria .. It is a pell-mell of confused and tumultuous scenes. We try in vain to find a purpose - to bring an order, a unity to life. I suppose that is the appeal of art. Art is the blending of the real and the unreal, the conquering of nature. It is real enough for it to reflect life, but has the unity that life lacks."
--D., in a recent email.

"in time memories fade.
senses numb.
one forgets how it feels to have loved completely."
--Pedro the Lion, The Longest Winter

I've always had this feeling about Patty that she's complex and intriguing...I like Patty alot. She's got a good heart and tells terrible squirrel jokes.
--Julie, from her blog on 4/8, after a large group of friends from all over gathered at my house for the weekend.

"Try to remember that world-weariness isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the book of Mark, I think its Mark, Jesus looks at a blind man and sighs. Jesus sighed before even telling the man he would be healed. He sighed, and I'm not sure that there's a much more human expression of frustration than this. Faced with the horrid picture of a cursed earth and looking into the white eyes of a man blind from the day he was born, He sighed. The Creator of the universe in human form was sad "of the evils of this world," the world He created. Your Creator sighed for you in the same way before He healed you and made you His."
-- Jesse, in response to my Weltschmerz blog entry

"After the last tear falls
After the last secret's told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that's just too hard
There is love

-- Andrew Peterson, After the Last Tear Falls

"when you most need people, you don't need perfection - just to know someone gives a damn"
--Jamie, during a recent IM conversation

How will you answer when, years from now, your child asks you: 'Mom or Dad, what did you do to combat the evil of squirrel hazing?'"
--From Dave Barry's Blog

"My brother's always [telling me], 'You should be more mysterious--boys like that.' But I'm not good at that. It would just make me more uncomfortable."
--Rosie Thomas, in an interview with Kathleen Wilson

"Loners want to kill you, but not for any particular reason, and they'd probably like you if they weren't being guided by the violent voices in their head."
--The non-box result from a random quiz I took today. (No, I frankly can't recommend this quiz site, but if you're really bored and you're not seeking to remain pure, go right ahead..)

"No one wants to oil a snake these days!"
-- Emmett Otter, Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas (Found under the Specials section of the TV section of the Henson website.)

Jamie: "I am one of the greatest criminal masterminds in the world."
Her mom: "We're all safe."

-- Jamie Bevill and her mother during Christmas-Decorating dinner, December 20, 2002

"and if i were a jetson
i'd throw out all my shoes
i'd set up cans for friends
to dump their shoes senseless shoes
a pioneer of callouses
lordy-be and bless my soul
i'd be a barefoot spaceman
the first you'd ever know"
-- Eddie From Ohio, If I were a Flinstone

"The best way to have God's will for your life is to have no will of your own!"
-- Charlene Potterbaum, Thanks Lord, I Needed That!

"Generations circle and each one atones. The sins of the father are seperate from my own. In Pilgrim's Progress, it's forgiveness that makes whole, and as time levels and consoles, I place the daisies in your bowl."
--Jan Krist, Daisies in Your Bowl

"For a moment he just stared at her. Then, with an urf-urf-urf of laughter, he turned back to the controls."
"They made good time, despite the lingering tenderness of Mara's ankle and the distractions inherent in a faceful of itch."
-- Timothy Zahn, Star Wars: Heir to the Empire

"It's on the internet.. so, then, it must be true."
-- Five Iron Frenzy, The Untimely Death of Brad

"Be at least as interested in what people can become as you are in what they have been."
-- Steve Griffin

Blessed be the rock stars!"
--Justin Dillon Stevens

Get up for the shower.. wash and scrub and scour every part as if a cleaner man could better bear the shame..
--The Waiting, Look At Me

"She was eating gnarly amounts of calcium."
--Samuel Hernandez

Homeless man to girl trying to give him money: "No, thanks, ma'am. I never work on Sundays."
-- Amilie, the movie.

"Wow! I never thought I'd need a radar-guided spatula!"
-- Larryboy, Larryboy and the Angry Eyebrows

"Isn't it great that I articulate? Isn't it grand that you can understand? ... I can talk, I can talk, I can talk!"
-- Wilbur, Charlotte's Web (the movie)

I believe that people laugh at coincidence as a way of relegating it to the realm of the absurd and of therefore not having to take seriously the possibility that there is a lot more going on in our lives than we either know or care to know... I suspect that part of it, anyway, is that every once and so often we hear a whisper from the wings that goes something like this: "You've turned up in the right place at the right time. You're doing fine. Don't ever think that you've been forgotten.
(and in another entry)
When we close our eyes to the deep needs of other people whether they live on the streets or under our own roof -- and when we close our eyes to our own deep need to reach out to them -- we can never be fully at home anywhere.
(and in another entry)
Maybe at the heart of all our travelling is the dream of someday, somehow, getting Home.
(and in another entry)
The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. -- Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of "No answer." It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, "Peace, child; you don't understand."
-- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

CCM: You've spoken a lot more about crying than I ever thought you would.
JK: Oh, I've cried a lot. Truthfully, I've cried a lot more this past year than I've probably cried in five years.
CCM: Why?
JK: It's fun to feel.
-- An Interview with Jennifer Knapp in the January Issue of CCM Magazine

"Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccuptaions, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul."
-- General Douglas MacArthur

""Don't go matchmaking for me, Ilse," said Emily wit a faint smile... "I feel in my bones that I shall achieve old-maidenhood, which is an entirely different thing from having old-maidenhood thrust upon you."
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"I wish Aunt Elizabeth would let me go to Shrewsbury, but I fear she never will. She feels she can't trust me out of her sight because my mother eloped. But she need not be afraid I will ever elope. I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art"
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"Tomorrow seems like a long ways away. But it will come, just like any other day... Deep inside, where the wounded creatures hide, I am afraid. Maybe I got lost somewhere along the way somehow. Please rescue me... Yea, though I walk through the valley of the dark shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me... Though I fear, though I am afraid, You are with me. Though I'm angry, tired, broken down and confused, You are with me. Though I sin like I've never sinned before, lose myself right out an open door, You are with me."
-- Waterdeep, You Are With Me

"The invisible people agreed about everything. Indeed most of their remarks were the sort it would not be easy to disagree with: "What I always say is, when a chap's hungry, he likes some victuals," or "Getting dark now; always does at night," or even "Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?"" -- C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"When People object... that if Jesus was God as well as Man, then He had an unfair advantage which deprives Him for them of all value, it seems to me as if a man struggling in the water should refuse a rope thrown to him by another who had one foot on the bank, saying, "Oh but you had an unfair advantage." It is because of His advantage that He can help."
-- C. S. Lewis

"But, you know, as a Christian, one of the big questions you always ask yourself is, "So we believe in Jesus, we believe in the teachings of the church, but what does that look like when it's lived out?" Because surely, one of the things that Jesus said that I think we often overlook is, "The person who hears my words and does them is like the wise man who built his house on the rock." He didn't say "the person who hears my words and thinks about 'em" or "whoever hears my words and agrees with it." But he said, "Whoever hears it and does it."
-- Rich Mullins, during a radio interview, as quoted in An Arrow Pointing to Heaven

"find that which gives you breath and grants you more to give
because life ends not in death but with what dies inside while we live"
--Christopher Williams, Breathe

"I have packed all my belongings. I don't belong here anymore. This pair of sandles, one pack to carry, this old guitar and this tattered old Bible. And I know I won't be afraid. 'cause I know, I know Home is where You are."
--Dog Named David, Heavenly Rain

"Open up your weepy eyes, everyone is dancing. Angels peer through sweet disguise, through a fire of cleansing.
--My Brother's Mother, Finest Hour

"Long hair, no hair; Everybody, everywhere: Breathe Deep, breathe deep the Breath of God!"
-- Lost Dogs, Breathe Deep

"You may be bruised and torn and broken, but you're Mine!"
-- Asiam, Relentless Love

"I don't deserve to speak, and they don't deserve to hear it. It's makin' me believe that it's not about me."
-- Justin McRoberts, The Story Stands Alone

"Kickin' against these goads sure did cut up my feet. Didn't your hands get bloody as you washed them clean?"
-- Caedmon's Call, Here I am Again

"They say God blessed us with plenty. I say you?re blessed with poverty. ?Cause you never stop to wonder whether earth is just a little better than the Land of the Free"
-- Andrew Peterson, Land of the Free

"Computers will know everything in the 21st century. They'll be like me in the 20th century."
-- Crabby Road