C'est La Vie

What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy. And I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words..
I really think I'll be ok. They've taken their toll these latter days.
-- Over the Rhine, Latter Days


2001.04 2001.05 2001.06 2001.07 2001.08 2001.09 2001.10 2001.11 2001.12 2002.01 2002.02 2002.03 2002.04 2002.05 2002.06 2002.07 2002.08 2002.09 2002.10 2002.11 2002.12 2003.01 2003.02 2003.04 2003.05 2003.06 2003.07 2003.08 2003.09 2003.10 2003.11 2003.12 2004.01 2004.02 2004.03 2004.04 2004.05 2004.06 2004.07 2004.08 2004.09 2004.10 2004.11 2004.12 2005.01 2005.02 2005.03 2005.04 2005.05 2005.07 2005.10 2005.11 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.06 2008.07 2008.08 2008.09 2008.10 2008.11 2008.12 2009.01 2009.02 2009.03 2009.05 2009.07

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Contact Me

by email
change to proper format: pattyt81 at hotmail dot com
(I hate Spam)

By mail
(contact me for my new address)

Other Weblogs I enjoy
(In no particular order)

Katy Raymond


Recommended Readings

A Grief Observed

Wishful Thinking
Frederick Buechner

Divine Conspiracy
Dallas Willard (may never finish)

Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven
James Bryan Smith

Recommended Listening
(from my collection)

The Hymnal, Arkadelphia
Randall Goodgame

Land of the Living
Eric Peters

Laryngitis, Longing
Katy Bowser

Walk [EP], Carried Along, Clear to Venus, Love and Thunder, and live bootlegs
Andrew Peterson

In the Company of Angels
Caedmon's Call

Delusions of Grandeur
Fleming and John

The entire CD catalog
Eddie From Ohio

Bootlegs including Eddie From Ohio, Rich Mullins, David Wilcox, and Andrew Peterson

Things I love
(AKA: Ways to win my heart)
Music, gift certificates, ice cream, music, chocolate, meatballs, music, books, knowledge, music, good movies, music, animals, art supplies, music, cotton candy, fajitas, music, safety, music....

Things I wish I owned and could listen to or read
found at Relevantmagazine.com,
and at pastemusic.com, too

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

See, the thing about fostering such a very competative environment is that it also fosters a huge sense of "being threatened" when someone who is naturally good at a certain job comes along even if said someone is not so competative herself.

In the Civilian world, including in my current and past college classes, a natural talent meant that I was the person one wanted to be around, so that one could achieve his or her own greatest because he or she would benifit from forming a mutually positive relationship with me. That is, we are all good at some things and bad at some things in this world, (disclaimer: I do not mean the following in the cheesy way it may sound) and we can all help eachother become the best possible overall if we all work together happily. Realistically, that just can't happen in all cases. However (comma), a company, class, or organization can do very well if team success maximally encouraged and if individual success is not so high-pressure -- so that the naturally good can succeed without the naturally not-good being affected or feeling threatened.

I guess that works in most classes or civilian environments because the individual is up against a certain scale, a varifiable goal. You will take a test, and you will get a percentage score on that test based upon the number of questions that you as an individual answered correctly. And then your final grade will be composed of what you as an individual accomplished throughout the class.

When you are concretely up against eachother and yet are supposed to work together harmoniously -- well, you can imagine what that fosters. A cross-country team, for example, is really all one team and so everyone working to get everyone to their best means that whatever 5 best of the 7 teammates happen to be that day, the team does better than the other teams. A non-team running race does fine because everyone is in competition with eachother, period. You win some, you lose some, but the running community in any local area tends to be very tight and have great friendships come from it.

So competition inherent in life is not the problem. But competition inherent in the scale of individual success is. It is a very big problem.

Way I figure it, if I'm gonna be so under the microscope that I can never be perfect and that people are going to let accusations fly should I be rewarded for something even while I am not perfect (because, of course, if your standards are lower for Joe Schmuckatelly over there, Joe can be at about 80 percent of the performance I regularly do and therefore maybe 64 percent of perfect, but since he is meeting your standards for him enough, no one cares.. but if I am within 20 percent of perfect, the standard I am supposed to meet is absolutely perfect and even one hair out of place or one minute later than 5 minutes early or such.. boy does that just jump right out at you and convince you I'm a complete dirtbag!) .. .. ..

Therefore, if I am too good to be accepted as imperfect and too bad to be seen as perfect, I will never get the rewards set up to motivate people to do their best. So I am stuck in a trench where I am expected to do my best but not motivated externally and too tired to motivate myself internally, especially when I watch all the dirtbags (and the not-so-dirtbags-but-not-superstars-either) get the goods and the pats on the back.

It's kinda like all those vents I did before I joined about how I had made enough good decisions not to be eligible for welfare and enough bad ones to need it.

Then, nomatter how much I ask for help or express that I'm burnt out or anything else, I'm being told that I don't ask for help enough. But because I "don't ask for help enough", the help I ask for is constantly denied or overlooked.

Grr. Argh.

It isn't that Canada's looking nicer this time of year. It's just that I'm completely exhausted all of the time now. I fell asleep in my ballroom dancing class the other day. I have already given up my volunteering (the youth group from the church I used to go to) and much of my social life and the idea that I might be able to do some of my homework -- this is why my math class grade is suffering so much and even in ballroom dancing I'm not doing as well as I should be able to. My house is messier than I'd like, my car is still not fixed. At least at boot camp I wasn't expected to take classes and volunteer and be responsible for my healt-finances-emotions-religion-etc and have a social life in my off-time. There was no off-time. But that was the nature of the beast. Here, what off-time I do have (which is limited) is expected to be filled with so much stuff. And all that considering I don't even have a husband or kids to take care of! I just can't put this much time in at work and still get anything productive done outside of it.

I just can't.

So, here's to hoping things will change FOR THE BETTER very soon. I know that may come in disguise.. I just hope it comes at all.

(0) comments
Monday, October 03, 2005

Well, now.

Two and a half months of no posting, and what a long and eventful two and a half months they have been.

I did not go to New Orleans. I was supposed to fly out that Sunday (after my last post) and on Thursday afternoon or so found out that my ticket had been cancelled without my knowing it. When I called the comptroller (who the cancellation notice had said cancelled the ticket), she said my Chief had told her to. So I asked the person between myself and my chief in my chain-of-command, and was told that the class would be coming here in September instead, so they weren't sending me to New Orleans. I was sad, to say the least. Very sad.

And then, just a month later, Katrina hit. And the New Orleans that existed the day before had changed. And I would possibly never get to see it at all, and if I did, it wouldn't be the same one everyone's always talking about.

On top of that, since the people who would have brought the class here in September were our New Orleans staff, and since the materials with which they teach the class were all in NO buildings, the class here was cancelled as well. So I've been doing this particular job since April 1st and never really got the right trainging for it, and still frequently find out that something I've been doing the whole time was entirely wrong.

Need I say more?

Having joined the Navy to see the world, I've seen a lot less of it since I've joined.

Meanwhile ...

Now that it's within the last month of waiting for the STA-21 results, I get people asking me daily when I will get those. I wish I could put one of those big buttons (like waitresses and cashiers sometimes have) on my shirt -- one that would say "The results come back in a month. I'm sure you'll hear about it by the time I do."

I am glad they care, it's just that it's similar to when I was working in Admin and people asked me daily when I was going to be moved upstairs to the pay department. That wasn't my decision or anyone else's business until it happened, and they couldn't understand how frustrating and stressful it was that nearly every single person in my command asked it or made a comment every day -- and then whatever reaction I made (even to have no reaction at all) was interpreted to mean that I did or I did not want to move up there, and my words were twisted all over the place and I kept getting yelled at for it. My response to that was that I've asked these people not to keep asking me in the first place, and it's their own disrespect both to ask and to twist my words. Of course, THAT didn't go over too well.

On a similar note, I have decided for sure (within the past two and a half months especially, and it got certain within the last two weeks) that I am not going to reenlist. I can't. I'm glad for the time I've had in the Navy (if not glad for quite all of the esperiences) but we're just not compatible. It's like with Jim, with whom I was spending a lot of time before I joined, and who was my main home-town contact while I was at bootcamp and whom I very much loved .. and then when he visited me in MS, I realized that although I did very much love him, I didn't love him in that way (which I thought perhaps I did before the visit) and that was so difficult to realize because, really, he was such a great guy and so good to me and he grew me. He had a lot of the things that it's difficult for me to find in guys -- he was always introducing me to new music that I loved, and he made me laugh so much, and we could do nearly anything together and have a great time. But I just still didn't love him like that. It was hard. And that's how it is with the Navy and I .. not that the Navy and I always have a great time together or anything, but it has grown me in a lot of ways and it has given me so many things (job security being the most prominant) .. but we're just not right for eachother. Not as an enlisted person, at any rate. I don't know that I'd be more right on the officer side -- there's still politics and many of the other things that I CAN put my finger on of why the Navy and I aren't right for eachother. But if I do get picked up this year, I will follow through with it and see how it is on that side. If I don't get selected this year, though, I don't know that I will reapply.

There is so much more happening and that has happened in the last two and a half months, but I'll just touch on a couple of highlights:

I am taking two classes this semester -- ballroom dancing and Pre-Calculus. The pre-calc is difficult, mostly because there are so many things I never learned in previous math classes, and what I did learn was so very long ago anyway. Words like the Quadratic Formula sound familiar to me, but words like "Complete-the-square" never were. So I'm relearning all of that stuff, and we have only just started to move into the real learning, which is all built on those foundations.

My ballroom dancing class is very fun, but a little more difficult than I was anticipating. We're fortunate to have a decent number of guys compared to many classes -- we have nearly one male for every female, which makes it a bit less difficult when trying to learn how to dance together instead of just practicing solo.

I still haven't gotten Al, jr.'s muffler repaired, and now he sounds like a Wookie with emphysema and asthma. I'll do that one of these days -- it's not like it's a huge repair anyway. Other than that, though, he's still hanging in there like a champ and then some. And I still get made fun of for him constantly, but I don't mind that so much because he gets me to where I get made fun of and back, so he can't be all that bad.

There aren't many concerts here that I have found out about, yet, but Flogging Molly will be here later this month (just before my one-year-at-the-NAR anniversary), and Clumsy Lovers in November. So there's at least two to look forward to. I'm planning on visiting MA sometime in November as well, to finally see Auntie Jo and Uncle Bob my other relatives up there, and hopefully see some of that music scene since I was too young to enjoy it when I lived there. Maybe even visit Boston College just for the fun of it, even though I didn't get accepted there yet.

And I've got one of my closest friend's wedding on New Years' Eve (since I don't know if she's told everyone yet, I won't say her name here) which I hope to be able to attend.

The next few months will be the whirl of the holiday season, right up through my birthday on February 1 (the quarter-century, even!) and with the future announcement of STA-21 as well as whether or not I made E-5 off this last exam, things may not settle down much after my birthday, either. But with "only" three and a half years left on my current enlistment, I'm in constant pursuit of keeping my civilian mentality and lifestyle so that if I do get out at the end of that time, I'll still know how to function in the civilian world. I've become more than Navy enough to be a great Sailor for the time being -- I don't need to be institutionalized into not functioning as a civilian. Especially now that I've decided not to go career enlisted for certain.

Part of why I haven't blogged in so long was not being ready to say all of that out loud .. but I've been open with everyone at work about it, so I'm ready to be open here.

Don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of people to whom I would recommend the military, including the Navy. And it's not that the Navy needs to change or that the things I don't like about it hurt its efficiency or effectiveness in any way.. its just that we're not compatible, the Navy and myself, where it always has been and always will be perfectly compatible with others.

The end.

(0) comments

Hippie: (after hearing Max wants to avoid the draft)You still have options man.
Max: Yeah, jail or Canada and they both suck. I mean I could never come home, so what is it, it's a choice of a 6x4 cell or an endless wasteland of frozen tundra.
Hippie: Montreal is cool.
Max:Man, they speak French there.
Groupie: So learn French. Learn French or die.
-- Across the Universe

"So how do i do normal
The smile i fake the permanent way
Cue cards and fix it kits
Can't you tell - I'm not myself
-- Frou Frou, Hear Me Out

"It's been known for a train to jump its track. It's ok, so you'll know, most times they come back. It's ok to lose your life, when you finally see your birth. It's ok to say, "I love you," and figure sometimes it's gonna hurt.
Don't forget to bring kindness, don't forget to say thanks. Don't forgot to spend your love, no it will break the bank. Don't forget to bring some empathy, for the saints and the sinners. Don't forget to bring encouragement. Yeah, we're all just beginners."
-- Bill Mallonee, Bank

"As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first, but then by the end you're sick of 'em!"
-- (The late) Mitch Hedburg

"Hey, this is weird! I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it!" "You're kidding! What a crazy random happenstance!"
-- Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"Only one more trip," said a gallant seaman,
As he kissed his weeping wife,
Only one more bag of the golden treasure
And 'twill last us all through life.
Then I'll spend my days in my cosy cottage
And enjoy the rest I've earned;
But alas! poor man! For he sail'd commander
Of the ship that never returned.
Did she never return? She never returned,
Her fate, it is yet unlearned,
Though for years and years there were fond ones watching
Yet the ship she never returned.
--The Ship that Never Returned, Henry Clay Work

"It was Flannery O'Connor who said that 'grace must wound before it heals.' Her words help me to separate what is most true about life from the things we want to be true. We want life to be painless. True grace is a hard sell because in order for the human heart to understand forgiveness and love, it must first experience darkness and isolation. A life lived under the rule of grace is a life of need which allows us to receive an appreciate the gift of the giver of grace. This is why we will always have the poor with us; this is why God will not allow us to ignore injustice; this is why we are called to a life we cannot handle alone, which can and will break us in the effort to live it -- because grace must wound before it heals."
-- Justin McRoberts

Regarding 2007:
"the year has gone quick, but most of the days haven't"

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup !
And surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gies a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.
--Robert Burns, "Auld Lang Syne"

I thought Christmas Day would never come. But it's here at last, so Mom and Dad, the waiting's finally done. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up, it's Christmas morning.

Did my sister get a baby doll? Did my brother get his bike? Did I get that red wagon, the kind that makes you fly? Oh, I hope there'll be peace on Earth, and I know there's goodwill towards men, on account o' that baby born in Bethlehem.
--Rich Mullins, You Gotta Get Up (Christmas Song)

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie,
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by;
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight.

O Holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend to us we pray,
Cast out our sin, and enter in,
Be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels,
The great glad tidings tell,
O come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Emmanuel.
--L.H.Redner, "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, now
And cherish every step
For a life well spent
On this earth we're lent
Will be marked by the void you have left

May you conquer (not curse) challenges
May you hold back the dark like a dam
May you lead your life with lion's roar
May you leave it like a lamb

Don't await rewards for your good deeds
A reward won't make them good
Don't await judgment of any foes
They'll receive just what they should

When you find the axis of this world
Don't tread too far inside
Run away as far as you think you can
Be well and enjoy the ride

Walk humbly, son
And store your pride
When you need strength later on
For your life's work will be judged if earth
Is saddened when you have gone

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, how
And forget not where you are from
May you go further than those before
And provide for those to come

Will you walk humbly, Son?
--Eddie From Ohio, Walk Humbly, Son

Strings of lights above the bed
Curtains drawn and a glass of red
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

Saxaphone on the radio
Recorded 40 years ago
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

When you play my song
Play it slowly
play it like I'm sad and lonely....

Weatherman says it's miserable
But the snow is so beautiful
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

It would take a miracle
To get me out to a shopping mall
All I really want for Christmas is you
--Over the Rhine, from Snow Angels

"In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna travel around the world
Gonna see it all

Gonna go to Paris, maybe Rome
But I'll feel better miles away from home,
Gotta figure some things out

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here

In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna spill my heart to every stranger in every town
I'll visit castles in Ireland, have some fella play the violin and play a song for me

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here
--Rosie Thomas, Sell All My Things, from Only With Laughter Can You Win

"Please tell me once again that You love me. That You love me. Please tell me once again that I matter to You and You really care. Please tell me once again that You're with me, forever. It's not that I could ever doubt you, I just love the way it sounds. I just love the way it sounds."
--This Train, I think it's from a song on Emperor's New Band.

"Every once in a while, a bannerzen posts."
--Me, during the 2002 Boredeys at Cornerstone Festival

"7:30. What kind of people have to be at work at 7:30?"
--Mr. Holland's Opus

have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
whose face lights up my day
i won't let one boy steal a kiss
or call me his instead i'll wait
for his voice to call out to mine
and carry these daydreams away
have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
who won't let me get away
please tell him that i'm
waiting for him praying for him
night and day for now i'll be a
lonely girl just longing for his sweet embrace
--Rosie Thomas, Have You Seen My Love, from When We Were Small

Traveling is significant because it takes so much effort. Either you're going to some place you love, or you're leaving some place you love. Usually it's both.
--Friend of a friend of a friend

I think I have Bond's ability to get into trouble but not his ability to get out of it. Someday I'll be in some foreign country with 5 thugs with automatic rifles pointed at me, and I'll just.... fart
--Peter, my twin brother, while we were talking about bicycle accidents.

"You had no alternative .. We must work in the world. The world is thus." --- "No .. Thus have we made the world."
-- The Mission (a movie)

The summer ends and we wonder where we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And you both look so young And last night was hard, you said You packed up every room And then you cried and went to bed But today you closed the door and said "We have to get a move on. It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead, We push ourselves ahead."
And it was cloudy in the morning And it rained as you drove away And the same things looked different It's the end of the summer It's the end of the summer, When you move to another place
--Dar Williams, End of the Summer

Looking out the bedroom at this snowy TV.. ever since commencement, no one's asking 'bout me. But I bet before the night falls, I could catch the late bus.. take small provisions and this Beethoven bust. I could find work in the outskirts of the city, eat some fish on the way.. befriend an old dog for a roadside pal, find a nice couch to stay -- a pull-out sofa, if you please!"
--Eddie From Ohio, Fifth of July.

Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us --belle and sebastian, Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying

"The trouble with folks like Brownie is they hold their life in like a bakebean fart at a Baptist cookout and only let it slip out sideways a little at a time when they think there's nobody noticing. Now that's the last thing on earth the Almighty intended. He intended all the life a man's got inside him, he should live it out just as free and strong and natural as a bird."
--Leo Bebb in Frederick Buechner's "Treasure Hunt"

"Life is a phantasmagoria .. It is a pell-mell of confused and tumultuous scenes. We try in vain to find a purpose - to bring an order, a unity to life. I suppose that is the appeal of art. Art is the blending of the real and the unreal, the conquering of nature. It is real enough for it to reflect life, but has the unity that life lacks."
--D., in a recent email.

"in time memories fade.
senses numb.
one forgets how it feels to have loved completely."
--Pedro the Lion, The Longest Winter

I've always had this feeling about Patty that she's complex and intriguing...I like Patty alot. She's got a good heart and tells terrible squirrel jokes.
--Julie, from her blog on 4/8, after a large group of friends from all over gathered at my house for the weekend.

"Try to remember that world-weariness isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the book of Mark, I think its Mark, Jesus looks at a blind man and sighs. Jesus sighed before even telling the man he would be healed. He sighed, and I'm not sure that there's a much more human expression of frustration than this. Faced with the horrid picture of a cursed earth and looking into the white eyes of a man blind from the day he was born, He sighed. The Creator of the universe in human form was sad "of the evils of this world," the world He created. Your Creator sighed for you in the same way before He healed you and made you His."
-- Jesse, in response to my Weltschmerz blog entry

"After the last tear falls
After the last secret's told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that's just too hard
There is love

-- Andrew Peterson, After the Last Tear Falls

"when you most need people, you don't need perfection - just to know someone gives a damn"
--Jamie, during a recent IM conversation

How will you answer when, years from now, your child asks you: 'Mom or Dad, what did you do to combat the evil of squirrel hazing?'"
--From Dave Barry's Blog

"My brother's always [telling me], 'You should be more mysterious--boys like that.' But I'm not good at that. It would just make me more uncomfortable."
--Rosie Thomas, in an interview with Kathleen Wilson

"Loners want to kill you, but not for any particular reason, and they'd probably like you if they weren't being guided by the violent voices in their head."
--The non-box result from a random quiz I took today. (No, I frankly can't recommend this quiz site, but if you're really bored and you're not seeking to remain pure, go right ahead..)

"No one wants to oil a snake these days!"
-- Emmett Otter, Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas (Found under the Specials section of the TV section of the Henson website.)

Jamie: "I am one of the greatest criminal masterminds in the world."
Her mom: "We're all safe."

-- Jamie Bevill and her mother during Christmas-Decorating dinner, December 20, 2002

"and if i were a jetson
i'd throw out all my shoes
i'd set up cans for friends
to dump their shoes senseless shoes
a pioneer of callouses
lordy-be and bless my soul
i'd be a barefoot spaceman
the first you'd ever know"
-- Eddie From Ohio, If I were a Flinstone

"The best way to have God's will for your life is to have no will of your own!"
-- Charlene Potterbaum, Thanks Lord, I Needed That!

"Generations circle and each one atones. The sins of the father are seperate from my own. In Pilgrim's Progress, it's forgiveness that makes whole, and as time levels and consoles, I place the daisies in your bowl."
--Jan Krist, Daisies in Your Bowl

"For a moment he just stared at her. Then, with an urf-urf-urf of laughter, he turned back to the controls."
"They made good time, despite the lingering tenderness of Mara's ankle and the distractions inherent in a faceful of itch."
-- Timothy Zahn, Star Wars: Heir to the Empire

"It's on the internet.. so, then, it must be true."
-- Five Iron Frenzy, The Untimely Death of Brad

"Be at least as interested in what people can become as you are in what they have been."
-- Steve Griffin

Blessed be the rock stars!"
--Justin Dillon Stevens

Get up for the shower.. wash and scrub and scour every part as if a cleaner man could better bear the shame..
--The Waiting, Look At Me

"She was eating gnarly amounts of calcium."
--Samuel Hernandez

Homeless man to girl trying to give him money: "No, thanks, ma'am. I never work on Sundays."
-- Amilie, the movie.

"Wow! I never thought I'd need a radar-guided spatula!"
-- Larryboy, Larryboy and the Angry Eyebrows

"Isn't it great that I articulate? Isn't it grand that you can understand? ... I can talk, I can talk, I can talk!"
-- Wilbur, Charlotte's Web (the movie)

I believe that people laugh at coincidence as a way of relegating it to the realm of the absurd and of therefore not having to take seriously the possibility that there is a lot more going on in our lives than we either know or care to know... I suspect that part of it, anyway, is that every once and so often we hear a whisper from the wings that goes something like this: "You've turned up in the right place at the right time. You're doing fine. Don't ever think that you've been forgotten.
(and in another entry)
When we close our eyes to the deep needs of other people whether they live on the streets or under our own roof -- and when we close our eyes to our own deep need to reach out to them -- we can never be fully at home anywhere.
(and in another entry)
Maybe at the heart of all our travelling is the dream of someday, somehow, getting Home.
(and in another entry)
The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. -- Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of "No answer." It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, "Peace, child; you don't understand."
-- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

CCM: You've spoken a lot more about crying than I ever thought you would.
JK: Oh, I've cried a lot. Truthfully, I've cried a lot more this past year than I've probably cried in five years.
CCM: Why?
JK: It's fun to feel.
-- An Interview with Jennifer Knapp in the January Issue of CCM Magazine

"Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccuptaions, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul."
-- General Douglas MacArthur

""Don't go matchmaking for me, Ilse," said Emily wit a faint smile... "I feel in my bones that I shall achieve old-maidenhood, which is an entirely different thing from having old-maidenhood thrust upon you."
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"I wish Aunt Elizabeth would let me go to Shrewsbury, but I fear she never will. She feels she can't trust me out of her sight because my mother eloped. But she need not be afraid I will ever elope. I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art"
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"Tomorrow seems like a long ways away. But it will come, just like any other day... Deep inside, where the wounded creatures hide, I am afraid. Maybe I got lost somewhere along the way somehow. Please rescue me... Yea, though I walk through the valley of the dark shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me... Though I fear, though I am afraid, You are with me. Though I'm angry, tired, broken down and confused, You are with me. Though I sin like I've never sinned before, lose myself right out an open door, You are with me."
-- Waterdeep, You Are With Me

"The invisible people agreed about everything. Indeed most of their remarks were the sort it would not be easy to disagree with: "What I always say is, when a chap's hungry, he likes some victuals," or "Getting dark now; always does at night," or even "Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?"" -- C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"When People object... that if Jesus was God as well as Man, then He had an unfair advantage which deprives Him for them of all value, it seems to me as if a man struggling in the water should refuse a rope thrown to him by another who had one foot on the bank, saying, "Oh but you had an unfair advantage." It is because of His advantage that He can help."
-- C. S. Lewis

"But, you know, as a Christian, one of the big questions you always ask yourself is, "So we believe in Jesus, we believe in the teachings of the church, but what does that look like when it's lived out?" Because surely, one of the things that Jesus said that I think we often overlook is, "The person who hears my words and does them is like the wise man who built his house on the rock." He didn't say "the person who hears my words and thinks about 'em" or "whoever hears my words and agrees with it." But he said, "Whoever hears it and does it."
-- Rich Mullins, during a radio interview, as quoted in An Arrow Pointing to Heaven

"find that which gives you breath and grants you more to give
because life ends not in death but with what dies inside while we live"
--Christopher Williams, Breathe

"I have packed all my belongings. I don't belong here anymore. This pair of sandles, one pack to carry, this old guitar and this tattered old Bible. And I know I won't be afraid. 'cause I know, I know Home is where You are."
--Dog Named David, Heavenly Rain

"Open up your weepy eyes, everyone is dancing. Angels peer through sweet disguise, through a fire of cleansing.
--My Brother's Mother, Finest Hour

"Long hair, no hair; Everybody, everywhere: Breathe Deep, breathe deep the Breath of God!"
-- Lost Dogs, Breathe Deep

"You may be bruised and torn and broken, but you're Mine!"
-- Asiam, Relentless Love

"I don't deserve to speak, and they don't deserve to hear it. It's makin' me believe that it's not about me."
-- Justin McRoberts, The Story Stands Alone

"Kickin' against these goads sure did cut up my feet. Didn't your hands get bloody as you washed them clean?"
-- Caedmon's Call, Here I am Again

"They say God blessed us with plenty. I say you?re blessed with poverty. ?Cause you never stop to wonder whether earth is just a little better than the Land of the Free"
-- Andrew Peterson, Land of the Free

"Computers will know everything in the 21st century. They'll be like me in the 20th century."
-- Crabby Road