C'est La Vie

What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy. And I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words..
I really think I'll be ok. They've taken their toll these latter days.
-- Over the Rhine, Latter Days


2001.04 2001.05 2001.06 2001.07 2001.08 2001.09 2001.10 2001.11 2001.12 2002.01 2002.02 2002.03 2002.04 2002.05 2002.06 2002.07 2002.08 2002.09 2002.10 2002.11 2002.12 2003.01 2003.02 2003.04 2003.05 2003.06 2003.07 2003.08 2003.09 2003.10 2003.11 2003.12 2004.01 2004.02 2004.03 2004.04 2004.05 2004.06 2004.07 2004.08 2004.09 2004.10 2004.11 2004.12 2005.01 2005.02 2005.03 2005.04 2005.05 2005.07 2005.10 2005.11 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.06 2008.07 2008.08 2008.09 2008.10 2008.11 2008.12 2009.01 2009.02 2009.03 2009.05 2009.07

This page is powered by Blogger, the easy way to update your web site.

Contact Me

by email
change to proper format: pattyt81 at hotmail dot com
(I hate Spam)

By mail
(contact me for my new address)

Other Weblogs I enjoy
(In no particular order)

Katy Raymond


Recommended Readings

A Grief Observed

Wishful Thinking
Frederick Buechner

Divine Conspiracy
Dallas Willard (may never finish)

Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven
James Bryan Smith

Recommended Listening
(from my collection)

The Hymnal, Arkadelphia
Randall Goodgame

Land of the Living
Eric Peters

Laryngitis, Longing
Katy Bowser

Walk [EP], Carried Along, Clear to Venus, Love and Thunder, and live bootlegs
Andrew Peterson

In the Company of Angels
Caedmon's Call

Delusions of Grandeur
Fleming and John

The entire CD catalog
Eddie From Ohio

Bootlegs including Eddie From Ohio, Rich Mullins, David Wilcox, and Andrew Peterson

Things I love
(AKA: Ways to win my heart)
Music, gift certificates, ice cream, music, chocolate, meatballs, music, books, knowledge, music, good movies, music, animals, art supplies, music, cotton candy, fajitas, music, safety, music....

Things I wish I owned and could listen to or read
found at Relevantmagazine.com,
and at pastemusic.com, too

Friday, January 31, 2003

I'm once again feeling that whole "I've made enough bad decisions to need help right now, and enough good ones not to be eligible." Once again, because I'm neither pregnant nor already a parent (nor will I ever be pregnant), and because I'm not on drugs or in recovery from such, and possibly because I've never been fired -- because of all these things, I can't seem to find any organization (especially not government!) that will help me check on a few of the medical problems I've had, or do some other simple things. It's like pulling teeth, people. 'Cept they won't do that, either. Likewise, I don't have a job right now (but here's hoping..) and I don't have any money left in saving's (because what I did have has already gone towards bills) and so I can't make ends meet, much less fix up my car or see a doctor. But, that's the same old story as has been happening for the past few years. On Tuesday (when they're open for registration again) I'll be going to the free clinic to try to explain to them how I'm currently living with no income (as if half of my town isn't doing so) and see if they'll finally accept me. Place is so sketchy, though.

Meanwhile, I had a very fun night last night. I went to the house of Hillarie, one of my jr. highers, and introduced her to the wonderful world of Mr. Fuzzy Mullet, aka David Bowie, via the bizarre and entertaining movie, Labyrinth. I ended up staying there because I'd walked over in the snow (it's only about a mile or so away, and was a really nice walk.. but they didn't want me walking back alone in the dark and all) and also because this random dog found me on the way over there and decided I was her new owner. So this morning, after they contact animal control, the owner got in touch with Hillarie's family and came to pick up their dog (Brooks), and Hillarie's mom dropped me off on the way to do errands.

And, it's just over 7 hours 'till my twin brother's birthday would officially begin if he were in Eastern time, but instead mine starts three hours before his. ;) I was quite glad to inform him, the first year I was back on the East coast (in FL at the time) and he was still in CA, that I am now the older twin. He's four minutes older than me, and has certainly done a lot more progressive stuff with his time, but my birthday starts first!

The lab's about to close, so I'm off. No plans for tomorrow, no idea what I'll be doing, if anything.. but tonight, I'm gonna go out and enjoy the last night of this year.

(0) comments
Tuesday, January 28, 2003

My tutoring paychecks were mailed out to me, because they all came in during the break and I didn't pick them up within that time. Problem is that the address the human resources office had for me is one of my significantly old ones (from the house I lived in for two years 'till a year and a half ago) and so the checks, which were mailed out over two weeks ago, have made it neither to me nor back to the school. Hopefully, they'll find their way to one of us soon, so that I can deposit them and nearly be able to pay my rent.

I had a really fantastic weekend, and am having a good week despite still trying to kick the same cold I had last week, and thus staying in bed for most of yesterday. I did put away the dishes that I'd washed (it's so nice to have counter space again, and a sparkling clean stove, and a nearly empty sink.. between my own chaotic schedule and the girls that stayed over at my place, and the couple of times that folks came over for a meal, the dishes were piling up more than I ever wanted them to), I finished one book and am halfway through another, got lots of sleep that was more restful than a good deal of what I've had lately, and I started braiding my hair into the little braids I always get in the mood to do when I'm about to have a significant change in my hairstyle. I've pretty much decided to not shave my head 'till during or after Cornerstone this year, because the folks I see there every year have never seen long-haired Patty. So early- to mid-July won't be so bad, though I have already gotten back into the stage of getting occasional headaches from how thick and heavy my hair is. It'll be worth it, though, to have a few more months than I was planning on, so long as it doesn't get too heavy. I think it'll be great. I'm really excited about shaving it again, too, though.

This Saturday is my twin brother's birthday, so that's pretty exciting, too.

When we were growing up, we always had joint parties, but we haven't been remotely near eachother for our birthday for the past 5 years. This year, again, we won't be seeing eachother, and I'm not even sure when we next will. It's been nearly two years now since I last saw him, at my grandmother's funeral. Oh, I miss the kid, and I sure hope he has a good birthday.

The other thing that's been on my mind a lot lately, with the approaching February first, is that one year ago on that day, the mother of one of my closest friends passed away. I was, at times, very close to her as well, and I miss her dearly even though we didn't have much contact after I moved up here. (Story of everyone .. she wasn't an internet person and I've never been a phone or letter person, so non-face-to-face contact was rare; thus we really only kept in touch when I was visiting FL or such.) Since I haven't sucessfully gotten in touch with Jon since I last saw him early in January of last year -- though I sent him a card when I heard about his mother and though I've tried to reestablish contact several other times -- I am wondering intensely how he is doing these days, how he's managing .. and I'm crying for him at the pain he must still feel over having to watch his mother be wasted away by cancer and it's treatments. I'm glad for him that he got to spend so much time with her in those last few months of her life, and I'm glad for us all that we'll be praising our Jesus with her in Heaven, but I can't even imagine what he felt during those months, or has been feeling since. She was a remarkable woman, and his loss is still more heavy on my heart than any excitement about my upcoming birthday can yet overcome. I know that these thoughts will not be so starkly in front of me on Saturday itself, but they have been for most of this month and will be throughout this week and the next few, I'm sure.

On brighter notes, though -- I haven't any plans for birthday celebrations, but I am making progress in cleaning my apartment, and in seeking income (indeed, also in actually FINDING income), and finally in undergoing the reformation of my old self into the character of Christ.

I have hinted at, but don't believe I've publically announced, that I've had an extremely dark struggle with depression over the past year, especially within the past couple of months. It was most aparent in the apathy that consumed me, which was virtually undetectable to those close to me because of the more mild self that has appeared since moving here, and also because I'm so used to putting on masks that I don't even realize when I'm doing so. I try to prevent the action when I notice it's there, but I don't notice something that comes so naturally to me very often, and thus have been carrying on like life is grand while inside I've felt little and enjoyed less. That may seem like it should have been before the brighter note catagory, but indeed this is the right place for it. Because, after many false attempts at convincing myself (and certain readers) that the struggle was over or was not as drastic as I knew it to be -- certainly, apathy is a hard thing to proove to the apathetic eye, and is a subtle little creature not easily seen as the vile, dangerous beast it really is -- I believe that I really have gained new ground in the battle, and that I really have entered into a section of my walk with Christ that I have never before trod. I'm genuinely glad at the change, and gladness is an emotion, like all other emotions, I haven't felt more than a pinch of in some time. I realized recently that I was truly happy -- not just SUPPOSED to be happy -- for a couple of friends that got engaged. I realized that I was excited about a promotion a freind got at work, that I was, and am, sad for a friend that is having some serious struggles.

I'm not sure what all of the means are that God used to bring about this change, but I'm more thankful for it than for most other gifts God has blessed me with. Depression is a dark place, not understood by those that haven't entered into it, and for the latter I'm mostly glad although sometimes frustrated by the fact. But now, I'm back in the world of love and feelings and thoughts that matter and life that is to be LIVED, rather than muddled through.

Thus, I'm that much more determined to pursue what I want as possible careers and not waste any more time with junk jobs that barely even pay the bills and don't allow me to save, and thus have no real purpose in my life. I am more determined to be a good jr. high leader within my group, and to love the kids with all my heart even though they'll grow up and go into high school and I won't be their leader any more. I can hope to be their friend, still, and possibly even something of a mentor.. But I can only hope for that if I allow Christ to make me worthy of such trust, and can only accept such a title if I also accept the grace that makes it possible. I am more determined to move into my apartment, finally, whether it's for a few more months or maybe for several years. I don't need to worry about my energy expenditure anymore, because using energy gives more energy, while fretting about not having enough is draining.

So, life may always be a mixed blessing, but God is faithful and just, and my prayers that I would not just muddle through life for as long as I may be here have been answered in abundance. I don't HAVE any more now than I did a week or a month ago, (indeed, a month ago I had more, worldly speaking!) but I have a new (old) appriciation that never should have vanished in the first place.

(0) comments
Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Yes, friends, I have FINALLY finished my resume! It's the one based towards clerical/secretarial jobs, and it is SO pleasing to have finally completed one of the tasks which has been on my to-do list for entirely too long. Especially one that could be so important in future endeavors.

This is fantastic.

I've been terribly sick all weekend, including a nearly 24 hour stint in bed with the exceptions of showering and a tiny bit of cooking. Pretty must just sinus mess, but enough to make me quite miserable, which is rare for me. Not getting out of the house, even on the gloriously blue day it was Sunday, certainly made me more appriciative when I was able to get out Sunday evening to go to my church's meeting. I'd missed service that morning, which is extremely rare for me, and this was the first time in years that I can recall having missed due to sickness. So it was good to be among the smallish gathering (prolly about a hundred or so people) that made it to the meeting, and to hear all about the church budget, and discuss matters great and small with my local church friends.

So, meanwhile, I'm off to seek out jobs and grander things..

(0) comments
Thursday, January 16, 2003


These are the pictures I scanned last week.

(0) comments

Aaah, I just love the sound of my muffler scraping on speedbumps..

(0) comments
Friday, January 10, 2003

When I realized today that I hadn't posted since Christmas Eve, I fiddled with the idea of just not posting in January. I don't really have a lot that I feel like blogging about these days, though I would much more so if I had a functional computer with internet access at home. However, I decided I did want to blog anyway.

I scanned in a stinkload of pictures today, so I'll be getting those onto a page at which you can view them sometime soon, probably early next week. Just gotta make sure they're facing the right direction and whatnot.

Most of them are from my Nashville trip, though a few of them are from the roll before that, so you'll soon be able to see the three pictures I took relating to my stitches (including the one from the hospital), me riding Bigfat Cimanim, and me as Hippie Longstockings. I'll have to edit that last one a little bit so you can actually SEE my hair sticking out to the sides, because as-is, my hair currently blends into the background of that picture and needs to be pointed out.

The relaxing hasn't helped the weariness too much just yet. Mostly because I need to have a clean house to really relax in, and I need to have a job or something to DO to relax from. "Stay-at-home" moms (not many of whom actually stay at home much, really, what with shopping and field trips and educating children and playgroups and all sorts of stuff) have their kids, career people have their jobs, etc.. I've got a lot of time and a lot that I could be doing but not a lot of motivation or ambition towards the non-job-related stuff.

No word yet on getting out on the road with anyone this spring. Well, one band that doesn't have the room, and a lot of others that will let me know. But that's still my goal.

This weekend and early next week, I'll be developing two resumes: one for my computer and clerical skills to use for getting temp work and whatnot so that I can pay my bills while I'm in town, and one for my music industry related experiences to use for getting on the road.

The lab's about to close, so I'm off for now. God bless you all.

(0) comments

Hippie: (after hearing Max wants to avoid the draft)You still have options man.
Max: Yeah, jail or Canada and they both suck. I mean I could never come home, so what is it, it's a choice of a 6x4 cell or an endless wasteland of frozen tundra.
Hippie: Montreal is cool.
Max:Man, they speak French there.
Groupie: So learn French. Learn French or die.
-- Across the Universe

"So how do i do normal
The smile i fake the permanent way
Cue cards and fix it kits
Can't you tell - I'm not myself
-- Frou Frou, Hear Me Out

"It's been known for a train to jump its track. It's ok, so you'll know, most times they come back. It's ok to lose your life, when you finally see your birth. It's ok to say, "I love you," and figure sometimes it's gonna hurt.
Don't forget to bring kindness, don't forget to say thanks. Don't forgot to spend your love, no it will break the bank. Don't forget to bring some empathy, for the saints and the sinners. Don't forget to bring encouragement. Yeah, we're all just beginners."
-- Bill Mallonee, Bank

"As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first, but then by the end you're sick of 'em!"
-- (The late) Mitch Hedburg

"Hey, this is weird! I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it!" "You're kidding! What a crazy random happenstance!"
-- Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"Only one more trip," said a gallant seaman,
As he kissed his weeping wife,
Only one more bag of the golden treasure
And 'twill last us all through life.
Then I'll spend my days in my cosy cottage
And enjoy the rest I've earned;
But alas! poor man! For he sail'd commander
Of the ship that never returned.
Did she never return? She never returned,
Her fate, it is yet unlearned,
Though for years and years there were fond ones watching
Yet the ship she never returned.
--The Ship that Never Returned, Henry Clay Work

"It was Flannery O'Connor who said that 'grace must wound before it heals.' Her words help me to separate what is most true about life from the things we want to be true. We want life to be painless. True grace is a hard sell because in order for the human heart to understand forgiveness and love, it must first experience darkness and isolation. A life lived under the rule of grace is a life of need which allows us to receive an appreciate the gift of the giver of grace. This is why we will always have the poor with us; this is why God will not allow us to ignore injustice; this is why we are called to a life we cannot handle alone, which can and will break us in the effort to live it -- because grace must wound before it heals."
-- Justin McRoberts

Regarding 2007:
"the year has gone quick, but most of the days haven't"

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup !
And surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gies a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.
--Robert Burns, "Auld Lang Syne"

I thought Christmas Day would never come. But it's here at last, so Mom and Dad, the waiting's finally done. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up, it's Christmas morning.

Did my sister get a baby doll? Did my brother get his bike? Did I get that red wagon, the kind that makes you fly? Oh, I hope there'll be peace on Earth, and I know there's goodwill towards men, on account o' that baby born in Bethlehem.
--Rich Mullins, You Gotta Get Up (Christmas Song)

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie,
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by;
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight.

O Holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend to us we pray,
Cast out our sin, and enter in,
Be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels,
The great glad tidings tell,
O come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Emmanuel.
--L.H.Redner, "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, now
And cherish every step
For a life well spent
On this earth we're lent
Will be marked by the void you have left

May you conquer (not curse) challenges
May you hold back the dark like a dam
May you lead your life with lion's roar
May you leave it like a lamb

Don't await rewards for your good deeds
A reward won't make them good
Don't await judgment of any foes
They'll receive just what they should

When you find the axis of this world
Don't tread too far inside
Run away as far as you think you can
Be well and enjoy the ride

Walk humbly, son
And store your pride
When you need strength later on
For your life's work will be judged if earth
Is saddened when you have gone

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, how
And forget not where you are from
May you go further than those before
And provide for those to come

Will you walk humbly, Son?
--Eddie From Ohio, Walk Humbly, Son

Strings of lights above the bed
Curtains drawn and a glass of red
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

Saxaphone on the radio
Recorded 40 years ago
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

When you play my song
Play it slowly
play it like I'm sad and lonely....

Weatherman says it's miserable
But the snow is so beautiful
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

It would take a miracle
To get me out to a shopping mall
All I really want for Christmas is you
--Over the Rhine, from Snow Angels

"In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna travel around the world
Gonna see it all

Gonna go to Paris, maybe Rome
But I'll feel better miles away from home,
Gotta figure some things out

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here

In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna spill my heart to every stranger in every town
I'll visit castles in Ireland, have some fella play the violin and play a song for me

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here
--Rosie Thomas, Sell All My Things, from Only With Laughter Can You Win

"Please tell me once again that You love me. That You love me. Please tell me once again that I matter to You and You really care. Please tell me once again that You're with me, forever. It's not that I could ever doubt you, I just love the way it sounds. I just love the way it sounds."
--This Train, I think it's from a song on Emperor's New Band.

"Every once in a while, a bannerzen posts."
--Me, during the 2002 Boredeys at Cornerstone Festival

"7:30. What kind of people have to be at work at 7:30?"
--Mr. Holland's Opus

have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
whose face lights up my day
i won't let one boy steal a kiss
or call me his instead i'll wait
for his voice to call out to mine
and carry these daydreams away
have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
who won't let me get away
please tell him that i'm
waiting for him praying for him
night and day for now i'll be a
lonely girl just longing for his sweet embrace
--Rosie Thomas, Have You Seen My Love, from When We Were Small

Traveling is significant because it takes so much effort. Either you're going to some place you love, or you're leaving some place you love. Usually it's both.
--Friend of a friend of a friend

I think I have Bond's ability to get into trouble but not his ability to get out of it. Someday I'll be in some foreign country with 5 thugs with automatic rifles pointed at me, and I'll just.... fart
--Peter, my twin brother, while we were talking about bicycle accidents.

"You had no alternative .. We must work in the world. The world is thus." --- "No .. Thus have we made the world."
-- The Mission (a movie)

The summer ends and we wonder where we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And you both look so young And last night was hard, you said You packed up every room And then you cried and went to bed But today you closed the door and said "We have to get a move on. It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead, We push ourselves ahead."
And it was cloudy in the morning And it rained as you drove away And the same things looked different It's the end of the summer It's the end of the summer, When you move to another place
--Dar Williams, End of the Summer

Looking out the bedroom at this snowy TV.. ever since commencement, no one's asking 'bout me. But I bet before the night falls, I could catch the late bus.. take small provisions and this Beethoven bust. I could find work in the outskirts of the city, eat some fish on the way.. befriend an old dog for a roadside pal, find a nice couch to stay -- a pull-out sofa, if you please!"
--Eddie From Ohio, Fifth of July.

Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us --belle and sebastian, Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying

"The trouble with folks like Brownie is they hold their life in like a bakebean fart at a Baptist cookout and only let it slip out sideways a little at a time when they think there's nobody noticing. Now that's the last thing on earth the Almighty intended. He intended all the life a man's got inside him, he should live it out just as free and strong and natural as a bird."
--Leo Bebb in Frederick Buechner's "Treasure Hunt"

"Life is a phantasmagoria .. It is a pell-mell of confused and tumultuous scenes. We try in vain to find a purpose - to bring an order, a unity to life. I suppose that is the appeal of art. Art is the blending of the real and the unreal, the conquering of nature. It is real enough for it to reflect life, but has the unity that life lacks."
--D., in a recent email.

"in time memories fade.
senses numb.
one forgets how it feels to have loved completely."
--Pedro the Lion, The Longest Winter

I've always had this feeling about Patty that she's complex and intriguing...I like Patty alot. She's got a good heart and tells terrible squirrel jokes.
--Julie, from her blog on 4/8, after a large group of friends from all over gathered at my house for the weekend.

"Try to remember that world-weariness isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the book of Mark, I think its Mark, Jesus looks at a blind man and sighs. Jesus sighed before even telling the man he would be healed. He sighed, and I'm not sure that there's a much more human expression of frustration than this. Faced with the horrid picture of a cursed earth and looking into the white eyes of a man blind from the day he was born, He sighed. The Creator of the universe in human form was sad "of the evils of this world," the world He created. Your Creator sighed for you in the same way before He healed you and made you His."
-- Jesse, in response to my Weltschmerz blog entry

"After the last tear falls
After the last secret's told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that's just too hard
There is love

-- Andrew Peterson, After the Last Tear Falls

"when you most need people, you don't need perfection - just to know someone gives a damn"
--Jamie, during a recent IM conversation

How will you answer when, years from now, your child asks you: 'Mom or Dad, what did you do to combat the evil of squirrel hazing?'"
--From Dave Barry's Blog

"My brother's always [telling me], 'You should be more mysterious--boys like that.' But I'm not good at that. It would just make me more uncomfortable."
--Rosie Thomas, in an interview with Kathleen Wilson

"Loners want to kill you, but not for any particular reason, and they'd probably like you if they weren't being guided by the violent voices in their head."
--The non-box result from a random quiz I took today. (No, I frankly can't recommend this quiz site, but if you're really bored and you're not seeking to remain pure, go right ahead..)

"No one wants to oil a snake these days!"
-- Emmett Otter, Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas (Found under the Specials section of the TV section of the Henson website.)

Jamie: "I am one of the greatest criminal masterminds in the world."
Her mom: "We're all safe."

-- Jamie Bevill and her mother during Christmas-Decorating dinner, December 20, 2002

"and if i were a jetson
i'd throw out all my shoes
i'd set up cans for friends
to dump their shoes senseless shoes
a pioneer of callouses
lordy-be and bless my soul
i'd be a barefoot spaceman
the first you'd ever know"
-- Eddie From Ohio, If I were a Flinstone

"The best way to have God's will for your life is to have no will of your own!"
-- Charlene Potterbaum, Thanks Lord, I Needed That!

"Generations circle and each one atones. The sins of the father are seperate from my own. In Pilgrim's Progress, it's forgiveness that makes whole, and as time levels and consoles, I place the daisies in your bowl."
--Jan Krist, Daisies in Your Bowl

"For a moment he just stared at her. Then, with an urf-urf-urf of laughter, he turned back to the controls."
"They made good time, despite the lingering tenderness of Mara's ankle and the distractions inherent in a faceful of itch."
-- Timothy Zahn, Star Wars: Heir to the Empire

"It's on the internet.. so, then, it must be true."
-- Five Iron Frenzy, The Untimely Death of Brad

"Be at least as interested in what people can become as you are in what they have been."
-- Steve Griffin

Blessed be the rock stars!"
--Justin Dillon Stevens

Get up for the shower.. wash and scrub and scour every part as if a cleaner man could better bear the shame..
--The Waiting, Look At Me

"She was eating gnarly amounts of calcium."
--Samuel Hernandez

Homeless man to girl trying to give him money: "No, thanks, ma'am. I never work on Sundays."
-- Amilie, the movie.

"Wow! I never thought I'd need a radar-guided spatula!"
-- Larryboy, Larryboy and the Angry Eyebrows

"Isn't it great that I articulate? Isn't it grand that you can understand? ... I can talk, I can talk, I can talk!"
-- Wilbur, Charlotte's Web (the movie)

I believe that people laugh at coincidence as a way of relegating it to the realm of the absurd and of therefore not having to take seriously the possibility that there is a lot more going on in our lives than we either know or care to know... I suspect that part of it, anyway, is that every once and so often we hear a whisper from the wings that goes something like this: "You've turned up in the right place at the right time. You're doing fine. Don't ever think that you've been forgotten.
(and in another entry)
When we close our eyes to the deep needs of other people whether they live on the streets or under our own roof -- and when we close our eyes to our own deep need to reach out to them -- we can never be fully at home anywhere.
(and in another entry)
Maybe at the heart of all our travelling is the dream of someday, somehow, getting Home.
(and in another entry)
The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. -- Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of "No answer." It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, "Peace, child; you don't understand."
-- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

CCM: You've spoken a lot more about crying than I ever thought you would.
JK: Oh, I've cried a lot. Truthfully, I've cried a lot more this past year than I've probably cried in five years.
CCM: Why?
JK: It's fun to feel.
-- An Interview with Jennifer Knapp in the January Issue of CCM Magazine

"Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccuptaions, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul."
-- General Douglas MacArthur

""Don't go matchmaking for me, Ilse," said Emily wit a faint smile... "I feel in my bones that I shall achieve old-maidenhood, which is an entirely different thing from having old-maidenhood thrust upon you."
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"I wish Aunt Elizabeth would let me go to Shrewsbury, but I fear she never will. She feels she can't trust me out of her sight because my mother eloped. But she need not be afraid I will ever elope. I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art"
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"Tomorrow seems like a long ways away. But it will come, just like any other day... Deep inside, where the wounded creatures hide, I am afraid. Maybe I got lost somewhere along the way somehow. Please rescue me... Yea, though I walk through the valley of the dark shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me... Though I fear, though I am afraid, You are with me. Though I'm angry, tired, broken down and confused, You are with me. Though I sin like I've never sinned before, lose myself right out an open door, You are with me."
-- Waterdeep, You Are With Me

"The invisible people agreed about everything. Indeed most of their remarks were the sort it would not be easy to disagree with: "What I always say is, when a chap's hungry, he likes some victuals," or "Getting dark now; always does at night," or even "Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?"" -- C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"When People object... that if Jesus was God as well as Man, then He had an unfair advantage which deprives Him for them of all value, it seems to me as if a man struggling in the water should refuse a rope thrown to him by another who had one foot on the bank, saying, "Oh but you had an unfair advantage." It is because of His advantage that He can help."
-- C. S. Lewis

"But, you know, as a Christian, one of the big questions you always ask yourself is, "So we believe in Jesus, we believe in the teachings of the church, but what does that look like when it's lived out?" Because surely, one of the things that Jesus said that I think we often overlook is, "The person who hears my words and does them is like the wise man who built his house on the rock." He didn't say "the person who hears my words and thinks about 'em" or "whoever hears my words and agrees with it." But he said, "Whoever hears it and does it."
-- Rich Mullins, during a radio interview, as quoted in An Arrow Pointing to Heaven

"find that which gives you breath and grants you more to give
because life ends not in death but with what dies inside while we live"
--Christopher Williams, Breathe

"I have packed all my belongings. I don't belong here anymore. This pair of sandles, one pack to carry, this old guitar and this tattered old Bible. And I know I won't be afraid. 'cause I know, I know Home is where You are."
--Dog Named David, Heavenly Rain

"Open up your weepy eyes, everyone is dancing. Angels peer through sweet disguise, through a fire of cleansing.
--My Brother's Mother, Finest Hour

"Long hair, no hair; Everybody, everywhere: Breathe Deep, breathe deep the Breath of God!"
-- Lost Dogs, Breathe Deep

"You may be bruised and torn and broken, but you're Mine!"
-- Asiam, Relentless Love

"I don't deserve to speak, and they don't deserve to hear it. It's makin' me believe that it's not about me."
-- Justin McRoberts, The Story Stands Alone

"Kickin' against these goads sure did cut up my feet. Didn't your hands get bloody as you washed them clean?"
-- Caedmon's Call, Here I am Again

"They say God blessed us with plenty. I say you?re blessed with poverty. ?Cause you never stop to wonder whether earth is just a little better than the Land of the Free"
-- Andrew Peterson, Land of the Free

"Computers will know everything in the 21st century. They'll be like me in the 20th century."
-- Crabby Road