C'est La Vie

What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy. And I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words..
I really think I'll be ok. They've taken their toll these latter days.
-- Over the Rhine, Latter Days

Home

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Contact Me

by email
change to proper format: pattyt81 at hotmail dot com
(I hate Spam)

By mail
(contact me for my new address)


Other Weblogs I enjoy
(In no particular order)

Katy Raymond
Beth-Annie
Kaly
Matt
Andrew
Alex
Steve/Opie
mel
Kcaarin
Brandy
Caren
Compassion

Ishy
Dawn
Katey
Sco
Kristen
Caren

Recommended Readings

A Grief Observed
C.S.Lewis

Wishful Thinking
Frederick Buechner

Divine Conspiracy
Dallas Willard (may never finish)

Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven
James Bryan Smith


Recommended Listening
(from my collection)


The Hymnal, Arkadelphia
Randall Goodgame

Land of the Living
Eric Peters

Laryngitis, Longing
Katy Bowser

Walk [EP], Carried Along, Clear to Venus, Love and Thunder, and live bootlegs
Andrew Peterson

In the Company of Angels
Caedmon's Call

Delusions of Grandeur
Fleming and John

The entire CD catalog
Eddie From Ohio

Bootlegs including Eddie From Ohio, Rich Mullins, David Wilcox, and Andrew Peterson


Things I love
(AKA: Ways to win my heart)
Music, gift certificates, ice cream, music, chocolate, meatballs, music, books, knowledge, music, good movies, music, animals, art supplies, music, cotton candy, fajitas, music, safety, music....


Things I wish I owned and could listen to or read
found at Relevantmagazine.com,
and at pastemusic.com, too


Thursday, May 27, 2004

One of the remarkable things about change is how when you're facing it, you learn so much about yourself, and you become both your best and your worst. At least I do. I've gotten stronger in my desire and followthrough about really talking to people about things I'd intended to for however long.. and I've gotten more aware of exactly how unable to healthfully handle stress I still am. Mostly, I think I'm getting better.. admittance and/or realization is the first step, eh? And I'm certainly realizing a lot these days.

(0) comments

The other day when I came home, there was actually mail in my mailbox -- a rarity of sorts, and when there is it's usually junkmail.

So the first thing I noticed was that the address was handwritten. And then that it wasn't addressed to me, but to a guy who apparently lived there before my landlords owned the building (which has been at least five years) because I've gotten several pieces of mail for him but no one seems to know who he is.

And then that it was addressed from a backwoods county north of here. By the senior to the junior addressee.

When I turned it over, I saw a stamp on it saying that it was prison mail and the contents had not been checked and to not sue the prison if there was anything offensive or illegal in it. And the handwritten scrawl, "Sure do miss ya'll!"

And some part of all that was so sad.

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The Burg (in which I live) is a rather historical town, having buildings dating back to the 1700s and such. In one stretch downtown, there is literally a church on every corner.. including a part where there are four in a half-block or so. All four of them are old enough to be old, at least by Floridian standards, and all four of them have bell towers although perhaps the bell has been removed from one or two of them. At least three or four churches downtown still chime the hours and sometimes more often than that throughout the day, and I'm not sure if any of them still chime in services on Sunday mornings or weddings or such.

The church I'm currently attending has been working on finding a new building for a while, because we're really outgrowing our space and it was a space we weren't supposed to inhabit for as long as we have, anyway. One opportunity that came up was sharing space with one of the belltower churches on the everycorner block, and we're in the midst of our two-week trial run with that idea. So last Saturday, we were over there setting up our stuff, and had the chance to tour the church a little in the process. Jason, one of the bunches of college guys attending my church, Aimee, and myself all went to see the Sanctuary. After we had seen all of that and the lobby, Jason remarked about the bell tower and a turret-ey thing you could see from the outside, and wondered how to get in there. So we went exploring, he and I, to see what secret passageways we might be able to find.

We figured out that the tower was right over the front corner lobby/entrance to the church, and when we went into that area, saw a ladder going up right as the bells started chiming the hour. He climbed the ladder to see if the doorway at the top was open, and I looked at all the old-church paraphernalia while I was waiting for the verdict. I saw this one little schooldesk looking thing with some sheet music and whatnot on top, and opened it up expecting to find more sheetmusic. Instead, I found what looked to me like a 1920s child's keyboard. Having grown up in a home with an organ (my mother is an organist), I couldn't resist seeing if it still worked. No sound, though, when I pressed the keys. When Jason came back down, I was mentioning that it didn't work, and then saw a tiny key in the side. When I turned the key, a red light came on, and Jason pressed two keys quickly. We heard the bells ring sporadically, and realized that he had just played the bells in the belltower instead of a child's keyboard! There's one of those experiences I never knew could be had, but could now cross off my "things to do before I die" list, if I kept such a list.

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It's a week and a half 'till I ship out.

This still doesn't feel real to me at all, although leaving in general (or disappearing from my current life, anyway) does. My apartment has been a mess of attempting-to-pack for the last month, since my original plan was to move out a month early and save rent that way, but the reality is I was nowhere near ready to leave at that point. I've done about half of the goodbye things that I know I'll be doing, and today I put in my last hour at work. I was supposed to be there 'till Friday night, but I've been going home sick more often than not the past two weeks, with these terrible drowsinesses (mostly from the heat) and random other symptoms (most likely from stress), and decided that putting in two and a half more days there was just not worth it. I mean, I need to in a capitalist sense, or just in the responsible sense of being entirely caught up financially by the time I leave.. but the reality is that if I get sick enough to not be able to leave, or if I get stressed out enough that I have a breakdown at bootcamp, I'm not gonna be ok financially or otherwise. So, I called tonight and told them that because of stress, I wouldn't be returning to work. They were very fine with that, even though they're incredibly busy these days.

This weekend, my mother, brother, and niece will hopefully be coming up for a visit before I leave. And then next week I've got a bazillion more attempts at hanging out with people one-last-time, and then I'm off on this crazy new adventure.

As long as Kerry doesn't get elected, I'll have job security for the next five years.

I've already given Beth all the information she needs (I think) for my blog and email account so that they don't go poof while I'm gone, and so that I can update everyone during bootcamp, and in one central location.

So I guess that's all there is to it this time, really.

The part of me that feels like all of this is more final than not is getting bigger these days.. The part of me that knows it won't ever be back. But I will, most likely. I always am.

Here's to restless nights before big changes.. and here's to big changes that will hopefully make nights less restless.

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Saturday, May 15, 2004

Tonight, I went to Johnny and Holly's wedding and had a wonderful, fabulous, amazingly great time. I got to see so many of the folks from my old church that I've gotten to know and love over the past five years, including many that I hadn't seen in ages. And I got to dance with some of the kids I used to hang out with when I was a jr. high leader, many of whom are within their few weeks of high school. Actually, most of THOSE kids weren't there tonight, but many of the juniors were. One was kind enough to point out that in five years, when I get out of the Navy if I don't reenlist, she'll have graduated high school. (Granted, that's if she does make it four years.)

Meanwhile, during the bouquet toss, I told Hillary (currently in eighth grade, but as the sister of one of the current seniors, I've known her for my five years here, too) that she could stand next to me for the toss since she's nearly 10 inches taller than me (she had shoes on, but she's still at LEAST 6 inches taller barefoot) and thus could catch the bouquet and leave me free from that trouble. And she was, I think, right behind me. And lots of very eager-to-catch-it girls were in front of me and beside me. And I was standing right beside another girl shying away from that crowd, talking about how we'd leave the giddy girls the joy of fighting over the flowers while we looked on from behind. And then all of a sudden, I had flowers in my hand.

Yes, I caught the bouquet. Hilarious!

So when they did the garter toss, the garter had no weight worth mentioning to it, and it fell quickly. Liam, a young gentleman who was born shortly after I moved here five years ago, was the first to dive for it and claim it as his own. And all the girls told me it was him (I couldn't see that toss from where I was) and I was elated, because EVERYONE has a crush on Liam.

I asked him later if we were gonna get married since he caught the garter and I caught the bouquet, and he said (I'm seriously quoting this exactly as he said it), "No. ... I'm going to marry something else."

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WOW. The blogger site has been renovated, apparently, although maybe it's just 'cause I signed in from blogspot.com instead of blogger.com.. but I doubt that they'd have two formats like that, so I dunno..

At any rate, it's different. It's good and user friendly, but different. And although I like having more space in my post-writing window, I also kinda enjoyed having my previous posts right there to look at while I was typing, and that's no longer the case, at least in this particular format. Either way, though, I love blogger. I'm so glad that blogs were thought up and made so easy for people with the various blog and such programs.

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Monday, May 03, 2004

Start unsubscribing from enewsletters and email lists that send out more email than I need to receive without internet access, or whose emails I never read anyway: Check.

Connect with Beth about handling my email accounts and blogging for me (from letters I'll send her) while I'm gone: Check. (Thanks, Beth!) (Since I'll be writing, and she'll be typing what I write and posting that on my behalf, likely the only difference you'll notice may be a distinct lack of typos, or at least that is one significant difference I notice when I read things posted by Beth.)

Slack off on the workouts after getting in shape enough to figure out I'll be fine at boot camp: Check.

Manage, somehow, to severely overdose on protein: Check.

Set up a junior-high-and-former-junior-high-student party as a farewell to all the kids I've worked with in my years at my old church: Check.

Sort through my clothing, posters, dishes, etc and decide what to keep and what to give away/throw away, and even start packing a wee bit: Check.

Begin, slowly, telling more people at work (though not yet the supervisors) that I've enlisted in the Navy and won't be around there for long: Check.

Begin, slowly, telling the students that I'm friends with (college students, that is) goodbye since I won't see a lot of them before they leave for the summer and then before I leave for the Navy: Check.

Give away some of my furniture and such to a house of college-aged guys that needed some during a roommate-transition time, who were borrowing a truck at the time and so pulled around back to get the table into the truck and in so doing got quite very stuck in the mud in the back yard, and had the Patty tradition of gathering neighbors to help people get unstuck from my backyard: Check.

Stall as much as possible on really packing and getting rid of stuff: Check.

So, I'm making progress and procrastinating at the same time. And things are starting to get lined up for having a lot of going-away gatherings during my last week before shipping out, although there is a certain irony in my mind of gathering people that I see only on certain fairly rare occasions to say goodbye, when I'm likely going to see them about as often as I currently do throughout the next five years, since I'll be back on leave from time to time and all that. But, of course, there is that whole concept of the me that's back on leave being different from the me that's leaving now.

And goodness, I miss reading other people's blogs. And I really look forward to when I can get back into that.

So, I'm off to pack now and then go to work. (I'm working 40-50 hour weeks these days, and the overtime pay on top of the regular pay is quite nice.)

Blessings.


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Hippie: (after hearing Max wants to avoid the draft)You still have options man.
Max: Yeah, jail or Canada and they both suck. I mean I could never come home, so what is it, it's a choice of a 6x4 cell or an endless wasteland of frozen tundra.
Hippie: Montreal is cool.
Max:Man, they speak French there.
Groupie: So learn French. Learn French or die.
-- Across the Universe

"So how do i do normal
The smile i fake the permanent way
Cue cards and fix it kits
Can't you tell - I'm not myself
-- Frou Frou, Hear Me Out

"It's been known for a train to jump its track. It's ok, so you'll know, most times they come back. It's ok to lose your life, when you finally see your birth. It's ok to say, "I love you," and figure sometimes it's gonna hurt.
Don't forget to bring kindness, don't forget to say thanks. Don't forgot to spend your love, no it will break the bank. Don't forget to bring some empathy, for the saints and the sinners. Don't forget to bring encouragement. Yeah, we're all just beginners."
-- Bill Mallonee, Bank

"As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first, but then by the end you're sick of 'em!"
-- (The late) Mitch Hedburg

"Hey, this is weird! I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it!" "You're kidding! What a crazy random happenstance!"
-- Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"Only one more trip," said a gallant seaman,
As he kissed his weeping wife,
Only one more bag of the golden treasure
And 'twill last us all through life.
Then I'll spend my days in my cosy cottage
And enjoy the rest I've earned;
But alas! poor man! For he sail'd commander
Of the ship that never returned.
Did she never return? She never returned,
Her fate, it is yet unlearned,
Though for years and years there were fond ones watching
Yet the ship she never returned.
--The Ship that Never Returned, Henry Clay Work

"It was Flannery O'Connor who said that 'grace must wound before it heals.' Her words help me to separate what is most true about life from the things we want to be true. We want life to be painless. True grace is a hard sell because in order for the human heart to understand forgiveness and love, it must first experience darkness and isolation. A life lived under the rule of grace is a life of need which allows us to receive an appreciate the gift of the giver of grace. This is why we will always have the poor with us; this is why God will not allow us to ignore injustice; this is why we are called to a life we cannot handle alone, which can and will break us in the effort to live it -- because grace must wound before it heals."
-- Justin McRoberts

Regarding 2007:
"the year has gone quick, but most of the days haven't"
--melvanini

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne


CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup !
And surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin’ auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.

CHORUS
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gies a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.
--Robert Burns, "Auld Lang Syne"

I thought Christmas Day would never come. But it's here at last, so Mom and Dad, the waiting's finally done. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up, it's Christmas morning.

Did my sister get a baby doll? Did my brother get his bike? Did I get that red wagon, the kind that makes you fly? Oh, I hope there'll be peace on Earth, and I know there's goodwill towards men, on account o' that baby born in Bethlehem.
--Rich Mullins, You Gotta Get Up (Christmas Song)

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie,
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by;
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight.

O Holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend to us we pray,
Cast out our sin, and enter in,
Be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels,
The great glad tidings tell,
O come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Emmanuel.
--L.H.Redner, "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, now
And cherish every step
For a life well spent
On this earth we're lent
Will be marked by the void you have left

May you conquer (not curse) challenges
May you hold back the dark like a dam
May you lead your life with lion's roar
May you leave it like a lamb

Don't await rewards for your good deeds
A reward won't make them good
Don't await judgment of any foes
They'll receive just what they should

When you find the axis of this world
Don't tread too far inside
Run away as far as you think you can
Be well and enjoy the ride

Walk humbly, son
And store your pride
When you need strength later on
For your life's work will be judged if earth
Is saddened when you have gone

Walk humbly, son
Walk humbly, how
And forget not where you are from
May you go further than those before
And provide for those to come

Will you walk humbly, Son?
--Eddie From Ohio, Walk Humbly, Son

Strings of lights above the bed
Curtains drawn and a glass of red
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

Saxaphone on the radio
Recorded 40 years ago
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

When you play my song
Play it slowly
play it like I'm sad and lonely....

Weatherman says it's miserable
But the snow is so beautiful
All I ever get for Christmas is blue

It would take a miracle
To get me out to a shopping mall
All I really want for Christmas is you
--Over the Rhine, from Snow Angels

"In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna travel around the world
Gonna see it all

Gonna go to Paris, maybe Rome
But I'll feel better miles away from home,
Gotta figure some things out

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here

In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna spill my heart to every stranger in every town
I'll visit castles in Ireland, have some fella play the violin and play a song for me

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being here
--Rosie Thomas, Sell All My Things, from Only With Laughter Can You Win

"Please tell me once again that You love me. That You love me. Please tell me once again that I matter to You and You really care. Please tell me once again that You're with me, forever. It's not that I could ever doubt you, I just love the way it sounds. I just love the way it sounds."
--This Train, I think it's from a song on Emperor's New Band.

"Every once in a while, a bannerzen posts."
--Me, during the 2002 Boredeys at Cornerstone Festival

"7:30. What kind of people have to be at work at 7:30?"
--Mr. Holland's Opus

have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
whose face lights up my day
i won't let one boy steal a kiss
or call me his instead i'll wait
for his voice to call out to mine
and carry these daydreams away
have you seen my love
is he far away
have you seen the one for me
who won't let me get away
please tell him that i'm
waiting for him praying for him
night and day for now i'll be a
lonely girl just longing for his sweet embrace
--Rosie Thomas, Have You Seen My Love, from When We Were Small

Traveling is significant because it takes so much effort. Either you're going to some place you love, or you're leaving some place you love. Usually it's both.
--Friend of a friend of a friend

I think I have Bond's ability to get into trouble but not his ability to get out of it. Someday I'll be in some foreign country with 5 thugs with automatic rifles pointed at me, and I'll just.... fart
--Peter, my twin brother, while we were talking about bicycle accidents.

"You had no alternative .. We must work in the world. The world is thus." --- "No .. Thus have we made the world."
-- The Mission (a movie)

The summer ends and we wonder where we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And you both look so young And last night was hard, you said You packed up every room And then you cried and went to bed But today you closed the door and said "We have to get a move on. It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead, We push ourselves ahead."
And it was cloudy in the morning And it rained as you drove away And the same things looked different It's the end of the summer It's the end of the summer, When you move to another place
--Dar Williams, End of the Summer

Looking out the bedroom at this snowy TV.. ever since commencement, no one's asking 'bout me. But I bet before the night falls, I could catch the late bus.. take small provisions and this Beethoven bust. I could find work in the outskirts of the city, eat some fish on the way.. befriend an old dog for a roadside pal, find a nice couch to stay -- a pull-out sofa, if you please!"
--Eddie From Ohio, Fifth of July.

Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us --belle and sebastian, Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying

"The trouble with folks like Brownie is they hold their life in like a bakebean fart at a Baptist cookout and only let it slip out sideways a little at a time when they think there's nobody noticing. Now that's the last thing on earth the Almighty intended. He intended all the life a man's got inside him, he should live it out just as free and strong and natural as a bird."
--Leo Bebb in Frederick Buechner's "Treasure Hunt"

"Life is a phantasmagoria .. It is a pell-mell of confused and tumultuous scenes. We try in vain to find a purpose - to bring an order, a unity to life. I suppose that is the appeal of art. Art is the blending of the real and the unreal, the conquering of nature. It is real enough for it to reflect life, but has the unity that life lacks."
--D., in a recent email.

"in time memories fade.
senses numb.
one forgets how it feels to have loved completely."
--Pedro the Lion, The Longest Winter

I've always had this feeling about Patty that she's complex and intriguing...I like Patty alot. She's got a good heart and tells terrible squirrel jokes.
--Julie, from her blog on 4/8, after a large group of friends from all over gathered at my house for the weekend.

"Try to remember that world-weariness isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the book of Mark, I think its Mark, Jesus looks at a blind man and sighs. Jesus sighed before even telling the man he would be healed. He sighed, and I'm not sure that there's a much more human expression of frustration than this. Faced with the horrid picture of a cursed earth and looking into the white eyes of a man blind from the day he was born, He sighed. The Creator of the universe in human form was sad "of the evils of this world," the world He created. Your Creator sighed for you in the same way before He healed you and made you His."
-- Jesse, in response to my Weltschmerz blog entry

"After the last tear falls
After the last secret's told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that's just too hard
There is love

-- Andrew Peterson, After the Last Tear Falls

"when you most need people, you don't need perfection - just to know someone gives a damn"
--Jamie, during a recent IM conversation

"A CALL TO ACTION:
How will you answer when, years from now, your child asks you: 'Mom or Dad, what did you do to combat the evil of squirrel hazing?'"
--From Dave Barry's Blog

"My brother's always [telling me], 'You should be more mysterious--boys like that.' But I'm not good at that. It would just make me more uncomfortable."
--Rosie Thomas, in an interview with Kathleen Wilson

"Loners want to kill you, but not for any particular reason, and they'd probably like you if they weren't being guided by the violent voices in their head."
--The non-box result from a random quiz I took today. (No, I frankly can't recommend this quiz site, but if you're really bored and you're not seeking to remain pure, go right ahead..)

"No one wants to oil a snake these days!"
-- Emmett Otter, Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas (Found under the Specials section of the TV section of the Henson website.)

Jamie: "I am one of the greatest criminal masterminds in the world."
--
Her mom: "We're all safe."

-- Jamie Bevill and her mother during Christmas-Decorating dinner, December 20, 2002

"and if i were a jetson
i'd throw out all my shoes
i'd set up cans for friends
to dump their shoes senseless shoes
a pioneer of callouses
lordy-be and bless my soul
i'd be a barefoot spaceman
the first you'd ever know"
-- Eddie From Ohio, If I were a Flinstone

"The best way to have God's will for your life is to have no will of your own!"
-- Charlene Potterbaum, Thanks Lord, I Needed That!

"Generations circle and each one atones. The sins of the father are seperate from my own. In Pilgrim's Progress, it's forgiveness that makes whole, and as time levels and consoles, I place the daisies in your bowl."
--Jan Krist, Daisies in Your Bowl

"For a moment he just stared at her. Then, with an urf-urf-urf of laughter, he turned back to the controls."
...
"They made good time, despite the lingering tenderness of Mara's ankle and the distractions inherent in a faceful of itch."
-- Timothy Zahn, Star Wars: Heir to the Empire

"It's on the internet.. so, then, it must be true."
-- Five Iron Frenzy, The Untimely Death of Brad

"Be at least as interested in what people can become as you are in what they have been."
-- Steve Griffin

Blessed be the rock stars!"
--Justin Dillon Stevens

Get up for the shower.. wash and scrub and scour every part as if a cleaner man could better bear the shame..
--The Waiting, Look At Me

"She was eating gnarly amounts of calcium."
--Samuel Hernandez

Homeless man to girl trying to give him money: "No, thanks, ma'am. I never work on Sundays."
-- Amilie, the movie.

"Wow! I never thought I'd need a radar-guided spatula!"
-- Larryboy, Larryboy and the Angry Eyebrows

"Isn't it great that I articulate? Isn't it grand that you can understand? ... I can talk, I can talk, I can talk!"
-- Wilbur, Charlotte's Web (the movie)

I believe that people laugh at coincidence as a way of relegating it to the realm of the absurd and of therefore not having to take seriously the possibility that there is a lot more going on in our lives than we either know or care to know... I suspect that part of it, anyway, is that every once and so often we hear a whisper from the wings that goes something like this: "You've turned up in the right place at the right time. You're doing fine. Don't ever think that you've been forgotten.
(and in another entry)
When we close our eyes to the deep needs of other people whether they live on the streets or under our own roof -- and when we close our eyes to our own deep need to reach out to them -- we can never be fully at home anywhere.
(and in another entry)
Maybe at the heart of all our travelling is the dream of someday, somehow, getting Home.
(and in another entry)
The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. -- Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of "No answer." It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, "Peace, child; you don't understand."
-- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

CCM: You've spoken a lot more about crying than I ever thought you would.
JK: Oh, I've cried a lot. Truthfully, I've cried a lot more this past year than I've probably cried in five years.
CCM: Why?
JK: It's fun to feel.
-- An Interview with Jennifer Knapp in the January Issue of CCM Magazine

"Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccuptaions, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul."
-- General Douglas MacArthur

""Don't go matchmaking for me, Ilse," said Emily wit a faint smile... "I feel in my bones that I shall achieve old-maidenhood, which is an entirely different thing from having old-maidenhood thrust upon you."
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"I wish Aunt Elizabeth would let me go to Shrewsbury, but I fear she never will. She feels she can't trust me out of her sight because my mother eloped. But she need not be afraid I will ever elope. I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art"
-- Emily, from the Emily books by L. M. Montgomery

"Tomorrow seems like a long ways away. But it will come, just like any other day... Deep inside, where the wounded creatures hide, I am afraid. Maybe I got lost somewhere along the way somehow. Please rescue me... Yea, though I walk through the valley of the dark shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me... Though I fear, though I am afraid, You are with me. Though I'm angry, tired, broken down and confused, You are with me. Though I sin like I've never sinned before, lose myself right out an open door, You are with me."
-- Waterdeep, You Are With Me

"The invisible people agreed about everything. Indeed most of their remarks were the sort it would not be easy to disagree with: "What I always say is, when a chap's hungry, he likes some victuals," or "Getting dark now; always does at night," or even "Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?"" -- C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"When People object... that if Jesus was God as well as Man, then He had an unfair advantage which deprives Him for them of all value, it seems to me as if a man struggling in the water should refuse a rope thrown to him by another who had one foot on the bank, saying, "Oh but you had an unfair advantage." It is because of His advantage that He can help."
-- C. S. Lewis

"But, you know, as a Christian, one of the big questions you always ask yourself is, "So we believe in Jesus, we believe in the teachings of the church, but what does that look like when it's lived out?" Because surely, one of the things that Jesus said that I think we often overlook is, "The person who hears my words and does them is like the wise man who built his house on the rock." He didn't say "the person who hears my words and thinks about 'em" or "whoever hears my words and agrees with it." But he said, "Whoever hears it and does it."
-- Rich Mullins, during a radio interview, as quoted in An Arrow Pointing to Heaven

"find that which gives you breath and grants you more to give
because life ends not in death but with what dies inside while we live"
--Christopher Williams, Breathe

"I have packed all my belongings. I don't belong here anymore. This pair of sandles, one pack to carry, this old guitar and this tattered old Bible. And I know I won't be afraid. 'cause I know, I know Home is where You are."
--Dog Named David, Heavenly Rain

"Open up your weepy eyes, everyone is dancing. Angels peer through sweet disguise, through a fire of cleansing.
--My Brother's Mother, Finest Hour

"Long hair, no hair; Everybody, everywhere: Breathe Deep, breathe deep the Breath of God!"
-- Lost Dogs, Breathe Deep

"You may be bruised and torn and broken, but you're Mine!"
-- Asiam, Relentless Love

"I don't deserve to speak, and they don't deserve to hear it. It's makin' me believe that it's not about me."
-- Justin McRoberts, The Story Stands Alone

"Kickin' against these goads sure did cut up my feet. Didn't your hands get bloody as you washed them clean?"
-- Caedmon's Call, Here I am Again

"They say God blessed us with plenty. I say you?re blessed with poverty. ?Cause you never stop to wonder whether earth is just a little better than the Land of the Free"
-- Andrew Peterson, Land of the Free

"Computers will know everything in the 21st century. They'll be like me in the 20th century."
-- Crabby Road