I am glad that I went to the service tonight. Last week I was very sick and holed up at home wearing my smurf-suit (the nickname for the blue Navy sweatsuit we're issued at bootcamp) and layers of clothing under and drinking hot drinks and snuggling under blankets trying to kick that thing. So I didn't go, but I made it this week and it was really good.

The preacher/leader was talking about being great instead of just good, being an instrument of great things for God instead of just doing good things ourselves. In this particular case, he compared Bill Gates (doing good things) with Mother Theresa (how God did great things through her and that was specifically her desire).

The music included a few songs I didn't know at all, and I just curled up on my chair and listened to them and prayed.

And after the service, as I've mentioned before, they had a time when anyone could go up and pray in the front and receive prayer if desired -- but before that, one of the administrative staff of the church had come up and talked to me during the break and she knew that I was struggling at work and she said she would like to pray over that after the service. So I went up and prayed for a bit and then she came over and prayed, and it was really just an incredible experience.

Here's two things about the thing:

1) Really, I'm not usually comfortable with a particularly Charismatic environment. I am not very comfortable normally with people who claim to be prophets or who start saying something sounding like they are sharing a prophetic vision. And the reason for this is not an uncomfortableness with prophecy in and of itself, but rather the misuse of that concept by people who are not really speaking prophetically, some of whom are not even aware that they aren't. Like that guy I mentioned my first week there, who said he had a prophetic knowledge that we would get into a relationship. Those of you who've known me for a very long time, especially you Lynchburgers who knew me in the Big House on Memorial, you know some of the background of why that makes me shudder inside --- for those who don't, it's basically because of some Charismatic roommates that I had and their friends and the insanity that prevailed surrounding that issue, and how wrong I think it is to use God's name for anything other than truth.

Anyway, tonight was different. I had this woman praying over me, and she really was speaking from knowledge that she herself could not have gained from me or anyone else. And there was this woman standing behind me that I think was there wanting to reinforce the praying that was happening up in front in general, like praying that the prayers would be fruitful. And I could hear her in the background whispering things like "Thank you, Jesus, for what you are doing". And I could hear this first woman praying over me specifically with the same things that I had been praying in my head before she came over, and when she first started and all these thoughts came to cloud it all out, I heard her praying and at first it was in tongues, and then all the thoughts went to "ok, now she's praying in tongues" (not in a skeptical way or anything, a sorta perked-up interested way and a sorta just plain factual way) and then it wasn't anymore and I could hear just the faintest thing that I just knew she was saying "Lord, please quiet her" and how did she know that my mind was so clouded and how did I hear that she was praying that and everything? Anyway, the rest of the prayer when she was talking like normal was just all this stuff that she couldn't've known about and it was a really great experience and very comforting and makes me look forward to seeing what will come of it.

And then I went back to where everyone else was that wasn't up front praying, around the food table, and they had this bean dip that I've only ever had there my first week (it's store-bought, but that's the only place I've ever had it that I remember) and it's maybe my favorite store-bought bean dip ever, and then I was standing there eating it, and one of the guys that had been in the small-group when I first started going came over and asked how I was doing and we were talking a tiny bit and he asked if I was struggling at work, and I said "some days are better than others" and then he said "well, I know that you're struggling there, and just hang in there, because.." and went on about some things that he also wouldn't've known about and it was very accurate, and just piggy-backed on everything I had experienced up front.

So that was really good stuff.

2) Ok, I AM analytical and I AM a skeptic about certain things and I AM uncomfortable about certain things and so in the analytical, can't-quiet-it-down-and-maybe-wouldn't-want-to part of my brain, there was always the thought that perhaps the family that invited me to this church and the husband/father of that family, with whom I used to work, may have had something to do with all of this. Maybe he had told some of them a little bit about what things are like at work. EVEN if that's the case, there were still other things in what they said and in some things that were said at work today that were specifically mentioned in the prayer, that would not have been known by this fellow or his family. God has always used "coincidences" to comfort me, guide me, assure me. Usually in the form of things that are a little too coincidental to be coincidences. So Let's say for the sake of argument that he did mention something to them ... I still would not have had the same experience if our little department powwow at work today had not been all about teamwork and such, and then Janie prayed specifically for that. And that's just one example. And then there's what I was praying for in my head, and how everything she prayed right away was exactly the same stuff and in the same order. You know? You can't skeptic stuff like that out. Analyzing always leads to the same conclusion: God is real, God is active in my life and in the lives His children, God loves us, we are here to serve and love God and in so doing to love His children. All of that was completely confirmed by my experience tonight, as it so often is.

Meanwhile, let's say that things had been different and that everything that had been said was stuff that easily could have come from that gentleman's insight and nothing else coincidental had happened. Would it not be enough that I ended up going to this church and having these people pray for me when I needed it and this gentleman and his family were not there at all, but these other folks were and they did pray?

That would be enough for me. It would be like if I broke my leg and was in a cast an anyone could see it and someone here mentioned it to someone back in Lynchburg who can't see it themselves, but called me to pray with me to get better -- it's not any less of a prayer just because this is something visibly obvious to people here and because the Lynchburger was told specifically what to pray for. You know? It's still just as much of a prayer, and it's still just as timely, and it's still an incredible experience in and of itself.

But it didn't have to be, because there was so much more.

Anyway, This is WAY longer now than I was intending it to be (at least four or five times) and I need to get some good sleep before the PRT.

Does tonight's experience mean that I this has become my church which I will keep attending? Not necessarily. I still feel a big "there is something else for you" on that one. I think that this part of the body of Christ had certain important experiences in store for me, maybe others in the future. But I don't think I'm likely supposed to be settling in there.. I think that there is somewhere else for me and God will reveal that in due time. But if God reveals that this place IS my new home afterall, hey, that'd be fine with me. Not that my agreement is even anything at all in the grand scheme of things, but it's there.

Ok, really, I'm going to bed now. Goodnight all. Thank you for your prayers, those of you who have been praying for me. Know that I am praying for you (as God leads me) and that I love you.

Thank you, Father, for this experience tonight.