Sometimes I am intensely lonely, because I desire to be around people with whom I get along or who I know, or sometimes new people with good conversation. And other times, I am in my introverted (and/or processing) mode, and I desire to be alone, whether in my room or in a crowd, so that I can just observe and process recent events or the ways of humanity.

Fortunately, this past week has been a VERY introverted week. Even more fortunate considering that any holidays or special occasions can be difficult when you're alone unwillingly.

Christmas was very mellow for me here, since I was just house-sitting, attending a Christmas Eve church service where I saw some people I know a little, and then attending a Navy-people dinner with only one person I'd ever even met before and a small crowd of new faces. New Year's was mellow, because I was the Designated Driver for my brothers (and Jesse) at a party of friends of friends of my brothers so that I didn't actually know anyone there besides my own carload, and before that we were just playing trivial pursuit at my mother's house and listening to my talented family members (who left me in the dust on musical gifts) play their instruments.

I got extroverted again in January, but reverted right back into the peacefully introverted state around the 29th. Which was fabulous. So after spending the weekend with Gramps and Jan at their home on a lake (spending hours on the patio watching the lake and the ducks swimming, and hours more reading the newspaper and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and getting lots of sleep and some great stories from each of them), I came back Sunday night and spent a little bit of time with some of the crazy regulars at the bar on base.. Worked on Monday, then treated myself to dressing comfortably and casually and going out for dinner. I ended up at O'Charley's, which is a birthday tradition I started for myself a few years ago, because their caramel pie is the best thing in the world. So I sat in the corner booth reading more of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, ate my dinner, and watched some of my fellow guests at other tables. Then I went to Walmart, where I had dropped off the photos I took over my New Year's trip and picked those up along with some nice flowers and a vase to keep them in. Flowers make me happy, and it's never bothered me buying them for myself. On Tuesday (my actual birthday), I had the day off and slept a fair amount, watched Return To Me (which may very well be my favorite movie of all time), and made myself a snowman in the freezer out of scrapped-ice from the defrosting process. My snowman and my flowers each make me very, very happy each time I look at them. I didn't even leave the base at all on Tuesday, and yet had a very nice, relaxing day.

By last night, I was very nearly out of the introverted stage (the only catch to them is I get wordier than normal, if you can believe that, after being so quiet for the few days previous) and glad to finally get back to the youth group I've been helping lead these past few months. After youth, I went with Jonathan over to his college group as I had twice before, and enjoyed myself there (although I'm sure that I talked a little too much, even though I very intentionally did not participate in large sections of the discussion), and from there went back to the barracks, read some more, and went to sleep. I was feeling the strong pull of extroversion and yet am not so much today. So tonight, I will clean, read, and maybe pay a little visit to my storage space if I can. We have a short day (in civilian clothes) at work tomorrow, to gear up for the Super Bowl Weekend being hosted by our fair city, which has brought loads and loads of visitors to town (many of whom are not terribly impressed by the muggy, nasty weather we've had the past couple of days).

I actually had a very nice birthday period (the few day span of "celebrating") and may treat myself to a little spa visit or a tattoo this weekend.

Ok, so I'm not gonna get the tattoo just yet.