Last week, my communications class had to give impromptu speeches. We had to bring in three notecards with questions on them, lay everyone's notecards out on the front table, and then go up front, one at a time, to speak. The speaker would pick up two notecards, read both topics, and put one back. Then the speaker would deliver a short (1 or 2 minute) speech on that topic or in answer to that question.

The topics ranged from legalization of marijuana or most encouraging word (which is the one I pulled) to education or prayer in schools.

After we went through the entire class that way, our teacher gathered the remaining cards and held them like a magician doing a "pick-a-card" trick. She said, "Now you'll pull one of these cards without looking at the topic, and I'll read you the question. You'll then answer immediately. This will help you to prepare for situations like job interviews or conversations with friends or professionals, where you won't have so much time to prepare a response."

For both exercised, I went first. And for both, I did ok, I suppose. The second time around, I got the topic "Is there too much violence in video games?" I'm certainly not equipped to answer that question very well, since the only video games or such I've played within the past several years have been children's games with the kids I babysat, or sports games that aren't violent. And the James Bond games and spin-offs, but those are pretty borderline as far as all that goes, since the violence is pretty unrealistic and all.

At any rate, it was a good exercise, especially for some of my classmates that had had little or no experience with impromptu speeches. I've had a fair amount of experience, and I can talk about almost anything anyway.

Today, we had to give a two-to-three minute sales pitch about a product or idea. There were a few guidelines about it, as well. Honestly, I had a very busy weekend and past couple of days, and I didn't do anything to prepare this speech. So when I got to school this morning, I decided I'd better pick a topic and start thinking of some things to say about it.

I thought to myself, "Self, what interesting things do I know enough about right off the top of my head to do a sales pitch on without props or time for research?"

And I responded, "Gee, self, you could do something relating to how less than two years ago you were bald and now you've got nearly 12 inches of hair already!"

So I discreetly made a few notes and a very ghetto prop (a white paper with some writing on it taped around my water bottle) during a few of the other sales pitches.

And when it was my turn, I took my hair out of its poneytail, went to the front, and did my best Sally Struthers imitation to sell "Sally Smothers Hair Growth Product". I explained to the class that it was a special drink with vitamins and minerals in it, and if you had just two sips a day, you'd have long, luxurious hair in no time. I explained to them how two years ago, I had been searching for the perfect hair care product already out there, and unfortunately got taken in by a scam product that caused baldness. Then I developed my Hair Growth Product and already, in under two years, had long, beautiful hair. I told them about how a percentage of the profits goes to the Save the Children fund, and that we'd also give the children their own Hair Growth Product so that they could have the beautiful hair taken for granted in America. I went on in this way for about two or three minutes, at which point I told them to call 1-800-Sally-Smothers today to get their own bottle of Sally Smothers Hair Growth Formula, for only 20 dollars a month.

When it was all done, I stood at the podium (as each class member had to do after his or her speech this time around) for comments and suggestions, and those that spoke up simply said it was a great job.

Who needs preparation, anyway??