So a month and a bit ago, I was driving back home and I was on the stretch of my most-travelled highway that happens to pass through boondocks and a small town between my own city and the one north of here.

While on this boondock stretch, right before reaching the small town, there was a dump-truck type thing in the right lane just ahead of me. I moved into the left lane to prepare the normal, gradual pass of a vehicle that can't handle the hills of Virginia highways. I noticed at this point that the truck was swerving into the left lane enough to make me nervous. We were pretty close to being the only vehicles on the road at 7:15 this Thursday night.

So, I decided that when I passed the truck, I'd have to do it quickly and would have to remain at a higher speed just long enough to get far away from him. He was frightening me. I don't have a cell phone, so I can't call bad drivers in, and as much as I love driving alone, I'm still aware of the risk of a single female driver being involved in an accident with a weird-lumberjack in the middle of the boondocks with no cell phone.

Right as the both of us came around a very slight curve, though, there was a police car hiding in the bushes.

Grr.

So I got a ticket for driving 15 over.

I went today to defend myself against this ticket.

The county courthouse shared its duties and building with the town courthouse for the little, bitty town on the highway. I go some directions, got to the building that looked like a church, and found my way upstairs to where the traffic court was in session.

When I opened the door to join my fellow defendants, I realized that there were a whole lot of fellow defendants. The room was literally overflowing. I stood against the wall waiting for enough cases to be heard so that there'd be an empty seat, and of course none of the gentile young gentlemen in the room offered their seat to the lady standing.

And the trooper that issued my ticket was the last to have his cases tried, and my name is right near the end of the alphabet. So when I finally did sit down on what might could've been pews (you have to use phrases like might could when you're describing something that took place in a southern boondock bitty town), I ended up sitting on the hard wood, impossible-to-be-remotely-comfortable benches for almost two hours.

During this time, I was entertained by the southern grace of the boondock men brought in for drunk-driving charges, and realized that almost everyone present because of drunk-driving or public-drunkeness charges would get the jail time and heavy fines suspended on condition of good behavior. I figure, "Hey.. if a bunch of irresponsible drunks can get off this easily, surely he'll just throw away my ticket.."

No such luck.

The judge did, however, reduce my speed to 9-over, but kept the fine the same as 15. So I was grateful to have one less point added to my driving record, and off I went to pay my fine.

After waiting for all the folks from everywhere in the world that had also been called into this courtroom on this day to pay their fines (not the drunks, though .. remember, they just got put on probation), it was fine-ally (haha.. ok, that one was pushing it) my turn. So I started to step up to the window, when a man that had been called after me also stepped to the window. I just sat back down (yet more uncomfortable wooden benches) but he said "no, I'm just starting to write out my check on the ledge here. You'll still be taken care of first."

Whatever. So I went to the window and while the woman was running my plastic through the machine, the man uncomfortably close to me started talking about why he'd gotten his ticket and making some comments about my appearance that made his uncomfortable closeness nearly unbearable. Have you ever had a moment when you were tempted to just leave your credit/debit card somewhere and run for your sweet life?

At any rate, the woman brought back my reciept and my card and told me she sure hopes I have a nice day.

Southern charm, as can be found even at courthouses, almost makes you not mind so much when you do get a ticket in such an awkward situation.