C'est La Vie
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What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy. And I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words..
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Thursday, February 22, 2007
So Congress just up and changed Daylight Savings time? Um, are they serious?!?And of course, just to make sure that I didn't have ONE year where I could actually not miss that lost hour of springing forward so much, they went and changed it to one of the working Sundays in March so that I lose an hour of sleep and then get here extra early. Nice. And then probably in October, just like usual, I'll be not working that weekend so that I don't even get to take advantage of the extra hour of sleep as a luxury on a working weekend... Are they serious?!? Oh, and I'm not leaving here 'til October, but I am leaving here in October, and I am SO EXCITED!!!!!! I got the orders I wanted and the job I'll be doing is so perfect for me, and who knows what it'll turn out to be like, but if I hate it it's only a year and if I love it I can probably extend, so yay!! And when I get done, I am going to be so much more financially secure (though I've been doing fine these last three years thanks to your hard-earned tax dollars .. and I say thanks with all due sincerity) and I am going to have so much more cultural experience behind me, and I am so excited. So I will probably still do a little jaunt up the East Coast in the late spring or early summer because the mountains are so great then, but I may (instead or also) do a jaunt up there in Octoberish maybe for the garlic festival and the fall hiking. It's weird having all this extra time before leaving compared to what I thought I'd have. Anyway... back to the original question... seriously... are they serious?!? (4) comments Tuesday, February 20, 2007
But, um, what if I don't WANT a new Google Blogger account? Or a new googlemail account?I mean, really, why does everything always have to change ... not that my blog is beautiful or anything, and I would love to add some other features to it (though I'm glad the comments thing did work after all), but it's just one more thing I've gotta make time for .. *sigh* .. I get tired just thinking of it. ;) Whine, whine, whine.. I've gotta run to class now, but I'm going to do a real blog afterwards... [ed's note: no I'm not.. we had a good class but lots of discussion which made me focus really hard and then some of us sat around talking afterwards and now I just want to go home and take a nap.. but I'm going to watch last week's Grey's Anatomy since I missed it and it's hosted on abc.com, yay!, and then I'm going to go home and take a nap and then I'm going to do my laundry and my dishes and hopefully clean a little bit ... I pick up Ed from the airport on Friday .. !!! .. and I hope to have some friends over in the near future and I really hope that some folks will come visit me before I'm due to leave, whenever that may end up being. So if this little paragraph counts as a real blog, there we have it.. and if not, then I take back what I said earlier. The end.] (5) comments Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Kaly told me that she and Beth wanted me to add comments, so I tried. I think they're there. I even did a test. Maybe it worked. I've got some tweaking to do, I know that much, but perhaps they're at least somewhat functional now.Kaly, I didn't see that little PS note on your e-mail until this week when I was looking back through the stuff in my inbox I haven't replied to yet. And no, I never get to use the chat thingie we were discussing... If you could see my typical day at work, you'd understand. But maybe at my next command I'll be able to keep in touch with other military folks (and maybe even other civilians, too) a little better. Now comment away and let me know what does or doesn't work so I can fix it. Thanks! (3) comments Three assignments into photography, I am really loving that class and I am finally feeling like I really do have the time to keep up with it even if I don't really have the time to just go sit places to wait for perfect photo ops very often. I am so much enjoying the fact that these pictures I came up with are mine from start to finish, from deciding on the scene and the subject to the lighting and the focus, taking the picture itself, developing the film, making a print, and creating the final product. I love it. It is such a satisfying art form, because I don't have to feel intimidated about if it's a Good Enough picture, like I might with painting. It's like glass etching --- the result is impressive to anyone except teachers, professionals, or critics... in other words, unless they themselves are not hugely into it themselves and years of training beyond me, they'll be happy with what I create. So it's nice. I have also now completed my first presentation for my International Relations class, from a chapter titled "Wrong, Terribly Wrong" about the American war in Vietnam, what brought us there, what got us out, and what happened afterwards. Everyone said I did a really good job and backed up the idea that even though I experience stage fright like most other people, I've managed to hide it pretty well under most circumstances (sometimes I still turn ghostly white or bright red and sometimes my vice cracks and all) and can talk my way through the stage fright pretty well. So that was good, and now it's over and I feel much better, and I don't have to worry as much about whether or not work ever overrides class, though I really am making a strong effort to make it to class on time every week since my chain of command was gracious enough to approve my request to leave early on Tuesdays to go. I'm also doing my medical (vocal cord) stuff on Mondays, our off-day, so that I don't miss work for it since they're already letting me miss work for class. I'll still do any on-base appointments during working hours, but I'm not going to be snotty enough to change into civilian clothes and leave for an appointment off-base. And I'm in the final stages of negotiating orders. More on that once they're finalized. I got what I requested, though, and I am REALLY excited! Just gotta get a lot of paperwork done in the next few months. I've got some heart-shaped leaves on a vine growing in my backyard, and promised my LPO I would bring one of those in for him to make his wife a card with.. I took some pictures of them for my Line, Shape, and Form project and was showing him the contact sheet today, and joked about puns on a card like "My love is all natural" or "My heart won't leaf" or something dumb and wretched like that, but whatever he comes up with, I'm sure she'll be ecstatic. Gramps's next weekend and then Ed's here and then St. Paddy's Day in Boston (or St. Patty's, as I prefer).... I'm putting together a mid/south-East-coast road-trip for the summer, probably, so .... congregate in NC or something. :) (0) comments Saturday, February 03, 2007
It's been another long week, with a long month ahead. On my birthday I worked 0730 to 1700ish, and yesterday I worked 0730 to 1800ish, but I did go for lunch on Thursday and the office did get me cake and presents which made for a nice diversion during my birthday. And as my third at this command (and in my third department), it was a good time to look back at the many significant changes in my career and my life since arriving here.We had a Zone Inspection that day (in which the leadership walk around and make sure things are neat and tidy, and point out any problems ... on a ship, these are essential to make sure the ship won't have problems while out in the middle of the ocean, and to make sure that the staff remember to securly stow all office equipment so they don't go flying all over the place whenever the ship rocks. In any area of the Navy, shipboard life is repeated or imitated when you're elsewhere, partly because it is still practical, and partly because it is part of Naval life and it helps keep you a Sailor while you're away from the water). We had reports to run, the biggest of which I haven't even been able to get started on, but I may just go in on Monday while the building is empty and it's quiet. One of our staffers is gone for the month, and it will be just me in the office on the first drill weekend in February, a week from now. The second weekend (two weeks later) and the following two weeks, Ed will be here, and I will be able to enjoy some time with him even if the work schedule is a bit hectic. The big inspecting starts on Valentine's Day. What is it with special days for me and inspections? Not that V-day has ever been very special for me (since I think I've been pretty much single every year except in sixth grade which was of course not so serious and has some look-back-and-laugh type memories associated) ... but still. I did go out a few times this past week in celebration and may be going out again tonight. And of course the Super Bowl is always right near my birthday because they had to think of some reason to give for all the celebrating that they wanted to do without making it so obvious that it's really all about me.... I am now more than halfway to fifty. ;) Since all the folks in my office are roughly ten years older than I, it was really fun jokingly making a big deal about my birthday and how old I am and other such rediculousness. This is a good year, though.. I don't think it's quite sunk in. Talking about my twin brother being twenty-six was more real to me than talking about myself, because I see myself in light of my relationships to others, while I see others as who they are. I should know within the next two months where I'll be stationed next, or else I may just be kept here since they may not want to move me at all with how litle time will be left on my contract. I should be able to switch local commands so long as they don't have to pay to move my personal goods and all. I still love my apartment and I still hate the drainingness of moving, so I wouldn't really mind that too much. Either way, I've got a lot of exciting stuff on the radar, and I'm getting much more back into my artistic and creative outlets, and I'm loving my photography class and I love the camera my Gramps gave me and I especially love the feeling it has since it's been all over the world from when he and my Gramma used to travel together. I'm off to clean my house and do some art. All my love! (3) comments |
Hippie: (after hearing Max wants to avoid the draft)You still have options man. "So how do i do normal "It's been known for a train to jump its track. It's ok, so you'll know, most times they come back. It's ok to lose your life, when you finally see your birth. It's ok to say, "I love you," and figure sometimes it's gonna hurt. "As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first, but then by the end you're sick of 'em!" "Hey, this is weird! I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it!" "You're kidding! What a crazy random happenstance!" "Only one more trip," said a gallant seaman, "It was Flannery O'Connor who said that 'grace must wound before it heals.' Her words help me to separate what is most true about life from the things we want to be true. We want life to be painless. True grace is a hard sell because in order for the human heart to understand forgiveness and love, it must first experience darkness and isolation. A life lived under the rule of grace is a life of need which allows us to receive an appreciate the gift of the giver of grace. This is why we will always have the poor with us; this is why God will not allow us to ignore injustice; this is why we are called to a life we cannot handle alone, which can and will break us in the effort to live it -- because grace must wound before it heals." Regarding 2007: Should auld acquaintance be forgot, I thought Christmas Day would never come. But it's here at last, so Mom and Dad, the waiting's finally done. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up, it's Christmas morning. O little town of Bethlehem, Walk humbly, son Strings of lights above the bed "In a little while I'll feel better "Please tell me once again that You love me. That You love me. Please tell me once again that I matter to You and You really care. Please tell me once again that You're with me, forever. It's not that I could ever doubt you, I just love the way it sounds. I just love the way it sounds." "Every once in a while, a bannerzen posts." "7:30. What kind of people have to be at work at 7:30?" have you seen my love Traveling is significant because it takes so much effort. Either you're going to some place you love, or you're leaving some place you love. Usually it's both. I think I have Bond's ability to get into trouble but not his ability to get out of it. Someday I'll be in some foreign country with 5 thugs with automatic rifles pointed at me, and I'll just.... fart "You had no alternative .. We must work in the world. The world is thus." --- "No .. Thus have we made the world." The summer ends and we wonder where we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And you both look so young And last night was hard, you said You packed up every room And then you cried and went to bed But today you closed the door and said "We have to get a move on. It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead, We push ourselves ahead." Looking out the bedroom at this snowy TV.. ever since commencement, no one's asking 'bout me. But I bet before the night falls, I could catch the late bus.. take small provisions and this Beethoven bust. I could find work in the outskirts of the city, eat some fish on the way.. befriend an old dog for a roadside pal, find a nice couch to stay -- a pull-out sofa, if you please!" Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying "The trouble with folks like Brownie is they hold their life in like a bakebean fart at a Baptist cookout and only let it slip out sideways a little at a time when they think there's nobody noticing. Now that's the last thing on earth the Almighty intended. He intended all the life a man's got inside him, he should live it out just as free and strong and natural as a bird." "Life is a phantasmagoria .. It is a pell-mell of confused and tumultuous scenes. We try in vain to find a purpose - to bring an order, a unity to life. I suppose that is the appeal of art. Art is the blending of the real and the unreal, the conquering of nature. It is real enough for it to reflect life, but has the unity that life lacks." "in time memories fade. I've always had this feeling about Patty that she's complex and intriguing...I like Patty alot. She's got a good heart and tells terrible squirrel jokes. "Try to remember that world-weariness isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the book of Mark, I think its Mark, Jesus looks at a blind man and sighs. Jesus sighed before even telling the man he would be healed. He sighed, and I'm not sure that there's a much more human expression of frustration than this. Faced with the horrid picture of a cursed earth and looking into the white eyes of a man blind from the day he was born, He sighed. The Creator of the universe in human form was sad "of the evils of this world," the world He created. Your Creator sighed for you in the same way before He healed you and made you His." After the last secret's told After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone After the last child starves And the last girl walks the boulevard After the last year that's just too hard There is love -- Andrew Peterson, After the Last Tear Falls "when you most need people, you don't need perfection - just to know someone gives a damn" "A CALL TO ACTION: "My brother's always [telling me], 'You should be more mysterious--boys like that.' But I'm not good at that. It would just make me more uncomfortable." "Loners want to kill you, but not for any particular reason, and they'd probably like you if they weren't being guided by the violent voices in their head." "No one wants to oil a snake these days!"
-- Her mom: "We're all safe." -- Jamie Bevill and her mother during Christmas-Decorating dinner, December 20, 2002 i'd throw out all my shoes i'd set up cans for friends to dump their shoes senseless shoes a pioneer of callouses lordy-be and bless my soul i'd be a barefoot spaceman the first you'd ever know" "The best way to have God's will for your life is to have no will of your own!" "Generations circle and each one atones. The sins of the father are seperate from my own. In Pilgrim's Progress, it's forgiveness that makes whole, and as time levels and consoles, I place the daisies in your bowl." "For a moment he just stared at her. Then, with an urf-urf-urf of laughter, he turned back to the controls." "It's on the internet.. so, then, it must be true." "Be at least as interested in what people can become as you are in what they have been." Blessed be the rock stars!" Get up for the shower.. wash and scrub and scour every part as if a cleaner man could better bear the shame.. "She was eating gnarly amounts of calcium." Homeless man to girl trying to give him money: "No, thanks, ma'am. I never work on Sundays." "Wow! I never thought I'd need a radar-guided spatula!" "Isn't it great that I articulate? Isn't it grand that you can understand? ... I can talk, I can talk, I can talk!" I believe that people laugh at coincidence as a way of relegating it to the realm of the absurd and of therefore not having to take seriously the possibility that there is a lot more going on in our lives than we either know or care to know... I suspect that part of it, anyway, is that every once and so often we hear a whisper from the wings that goes something like this: "You've turned up in the right place at the right time. You're doing fine. Don't ever think that you've been forgotten. When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of "No answer." It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, "Peace, child; you don't understand." CCM: You've spoken a lot more about crying than I ever thought you would. "Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccuptaions, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul." ""Don't go matchmaking for me, Ilse," said Emily wit a faint smile... "I feel in my bones that I shall achieve old-maidenhood, which is an entirely different thing from having old-maidenhood thrust upon you." "I wish Aunt Elizabeth would let me go to Shrewsbury, but I fear she never will. She feels she can't trust me out of her sight because my mother eloped. But she need not be afraid I will ever elope. I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art" "Tomorrow seems like a long ways away. But it will come, just like any other day... Deep inside, where the wounded creatures hide, I am afraid. Maybe I got lost somewhere along the way somehow. Please rescue me... Yea, though I walk through the valley of the dark shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me... Though I fear, though I am afraid, You are with me. Though I'm angry, tired, broken down and confused, You are with me. Though I sin like I've never sinned before, lose myself right out an open door, You are with me." "The invisible people agreed about everything. Indeed most of their remarks were the sort it would not be easy to disagree with: "What I always say is, when a chap's hungry, he likes some victuals," or "Getting dark now; always does at night," or even "Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?"" -- C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader "When People object... that if Jesus was God as well as Man, then He had an unfair advantage which deprives Him for them of all value, it seems to me as if a man struggling in the water should refuse a rope thrown to him by another who had one foot on the bank, saying, "Oh but you had an unfair advantage." It is because of His advantage that He can help." "But, you know, as a Christian, one of the big questions you always ask yourself is, "So we believe in Jesus, we believe in the teachings of the church, but what does that look like when it's lived out?" Because surely, one of the things that Jesus said that I think we often overlook is, "The person who hears my words and does them is like the wise man who built his house on the rock." He didn't say "the person who hears my words and thinks about 'em" or "whoever hears my words and agrees with it." But he said, "Whoever hears it and does it." "find that which gives you breath and grants you more to give "I have packed all my belongings. I don't belong here anymore. This pair of sandles, one pack to carry, this old guitar and this tattered old Bible. And I know I won't be afraid. 'cause I know, I know Home is where You are." "Open up your weepy eyes, everyone is dancing. Angels peer through sweet disguise, through a fire of cleansing. "Long hair, no hair; Everybody, everywhere:
Breathe Deep, breathe deep the Breath of God!" "You may be bruised and torn and broken, but
you're Mine!" "I don't deserve to speak, and they don't deserve
to hear it. It's makin' me believe that it's not
about me." "Kickin' against these goads sure did cut up my
feet. Didn't your hands get bloody as you washed
them clean?" "They say God blessed us with plenty. I say
you?re blessed with poverty. ?Cause you never
stop to wonder whether earth is just a little
better than the Land of the Free" "Computers will know everything in the 21st
century. They'll be like me in the 20th
century." |
