C'est La Vie
|
What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be. Lord knows we've learned the hard way all about healthy apathy. And I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words..
Contact Me
Other Weblogs I enjoy
Recommended Readings
Recommended Listening
Things I love
Things I wish I owned and could listen to or read
|
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
Still nothing new on the job front, though I'm trying to figure out if it'd be feasible for me to do a third-shift job a couple nights a week (on my non-school nights), sleep during the day, and then have the evenings to do jr. high stuff and whatnot. Of course, that would mean that on school nights, it'd be really difficult. But it's something I may give a try for the couple of months of this semester.
I have decided that I'm gonna make it work somehow, though, and not quit school this semester. I'm enjoying my on-campus classes too much. (I'm enjoying my off-campus class, too, but that wouldn't be effected by any work schedule or such). I'm pursuing other forms of help and assistance, too. I've got a decent amount of babysitting jobs lined up right now, and I'll be getting even more throughout the next month. I've got food, and when my financial aid check comes in in late September, I'll be set for at least a couple of months even without any other form of income .. but then my income in the meanwhile will keep that going. It's just getting from now 'till then. Yesterday, I had no appitite. So I woke up this morning feeling rather queasy for not having eaten enough within the past 24 hours. I think all I had was a potato and a teeny bit of refried beans. Oh, and some tea and a lot of water. And a soda, since I was feeling a little queasy yesterday, too. By now, though, I'm feeling really ok and I'm glad that I'm not sick with a virus or such, and I'm excited about getting to go to the movies with a friend tonight (I've been doing the hang-out-with-myself thing at the dollar theater on fitty-cen -- the t is invisible -- tuesdays a lot lately, but one of my friends that just got back from vacation is coming tonight) and prolly down to the coffeeshop. Tomorrow will be a whole lot of cleaning and a few errands and some reading and some phone calls, and then another friend comes over for dinner and to give me some stuff from when she was living alone, and then it's karaoke night at the coffeeshop. And then Thursday is classes and jr. high, and Friday is babysitting and hanging out, and Saturday is my open house. (If you're in the area and want more info, please email me.) Classes, by the way, are so good. Did go to my computer graphics class today, and finished the assignment an hour before the scheduled class ending, but stuck around to help the girls that sit on either side of me who are not as familiar with computers (but are most certainly computer literate) and who have not had the training in excel that I had last semester, which is what we were using today. I'm really gonna enjoy that class. And today was the first real lecture session in Psychology, since Thursday was just an overview of the course, and I very much enjoyed it. When I got to my Psych class this morning, there was much discussion in my seating area about which printed-out outline was the right one. See, our teacher keeps the outlines on her website so that we can print them out, because sometimes there will be things on those that aren't in the book but will be on the test. Some people had accidentally printed out the outline for chapter one of psych 201 instead of 200, and were despairing about that. This is understandable enough. But then the discussion went into how much people had read over the weekend. Now, for me, personally .. I put off the reading 'till last night, but darn tootin' did I get every bit of the assigned reading done. I mean, really, the secret to getting good grades in lower level courses is simply doing the reading and showing up to class. And most of the folks in this class (particularly the ones in the area in which I sit) hadn't even opened their book, had maybe glanced over the outline, and had no apparent desire to actually study. Granted, I did have a few years between high school and college, and granted, I did always enjoy reading .. However, when the prof herself even says that all you really need to do to get a good grade is read and show up, and when that's an established fact from past college experiences, wouldn't it be wise to suck it up and do the reading even if you don't want to? And if you're too busy, drop a class or two now while you can still get a refund, rather than wasting time and money. I mean, once you get behind, it's so hard to catch up, and waiting too long to drop means that you've paid for the class, and sometimes even that you're stuck with the bad grade. Ah, well. So long as they don't somehow try to pressure me into working my buns off for their grade (I'm not sure how they could do this, but a few of them had the impression they'd find a way.. "Way I see it, this is my group here and we're all gonna work together and get a good grade"..), I guess it's just their own thing to deal with. But I just can't imagine the apathy and such that leads someone to say, "All I have to do is read, but I'm not going to, and instead I'm going to expect that someone else will help me constantly so that I can pass an easy enough class." I'll admit that I have my significantly apathetic areas, but I try not to make that affect someone else or to make someone else work harder to make up for my own different priorities. And boy do I not waste my own time and money on something that I'm not willing to work for. Which is why I'm gonna CLEP out of the academic classes as much as I can, such as Math, History, and Science.
Comments:
Post a Comment
|
Hippie: (after hearing Max wants to avoid the draft)You still have options man. "So how do i do normal "It's been known for a train to jump its track. It's ok, so you'll know, most times they come back. It's ok to lose your life, when you finally see your birth. It's ok to say, "I love you," and figure sometimes it's gonna hurt. "As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first, but then by the end you're sick of 'em!" "Hey, this is weird! I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?" "I love it!" "You're kidding! What a crazy random happenstance!" "Only one more trip," said a gallant seaman, "It was Flannery O'Connor who said that 'grace must wound before it heals.' Her words help me to separate what is most true about life from the things we want to be true. We want life to be painless. True grace is a hard sell because in order for the human heart to understand forgiveness and love, it must first experience darkness and isolation. A life lived under the rule of grace is a life of need which allows us to receive an appreciate the gift of the giver of grace. This is why we will always have the poor with us; this is why God will not allow us to ignore injustice; this is why we are called to a life we cannot handle alone, which can and will break us in the effort to live it -- because grace must wound before it heals." Regarding 2007: Should auld acquaintance be forgot, I thought Christmas Day would never come. But it's here at last, so Mom and Dad, the waiting's finally done. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up, it's Christmas morning. O little town of Bethlehem, Walk humbly, son Strings of lights above the bed "In a little while I'll feel better "Please tell me once again that You love me. That You love me. Please tell me once again that I matter to You and You really care. Please tell me once again that You're with me, forever. It's not that I could ever doubt you, I just love the way it sounds. I just love the way it sounds." "Every once in a while, a bannerzen posts." "7:30. What kind of people have to be at work at 7:30?" have you seen my love Traveling is significant because it takes so much effort. Either you're going to some place you love, or you're leaving some place you love. Usually it's both. I think I have Bond's ability to get into trouble but not his ability to get out of it. Someday I'll be in some foreign country with 5 thugs with automatic rifles pointed at me, and I'll just.... fart "You had no alternative .. We must work in the world. The world is thus." --- "No .. Thus have we made the world." The summer ends and we wonder where we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And you both look so young And last night was hard, you said You packed up every room And then you cried and went to bed But today you closed the door and said "We have to get a move on. It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead, We push ourselves ahead." Looking out the bedroom at this snowy TV.. ever since commencement, no one's asking 'bout me. But I bet before the night falls, I could catch the late bus.. take small provisions and this Beethoven bust. I could find work in the outskirts of the city, eat some fish on the way.. befriend an old dog for a roadside pal, find a nice couch to stay -- a pull-out sofa, if you please!" Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying "The trouble with folks like Brownie is they hold their life in like a bakebean fart at a Baptist cookout and only let it slip out sideways a little at a time when they think there's nobody noticing. Now that's the last thing on earth the Almighty intended. He intended all the life a man's got inside him, he should live it out just as free and strong and natural as a bird." "Life is a phantasmagoria .. It is a pell-mell of confused and tumultuous scenes. We try in vain to find a purpose - to bring an order, a unity to life. I suppose that is the appeal of art. Art is the blending of the real and the unreal, the conquering of nature. It is real enough for it to reflect life, but has the unity that life lacks." "in time memories fade. I've always had this feeling about Patty that she's complex and intriguing...I like Patty alot. She's got a good heart and tells terrible squirrel jokes. "Try to remember that world-weariness isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the book of Mark, I think its Mark, Jesus looks at a blind man and sighs. Jesus sighed before even telling the man he would be healed. He sighed, and I'm not sure that there's a much more human expression of frustration than this. Faced with the horrid picture of a cursed earth and looking into the white eyes of a man blind from the day he was born, He sighed. The Creator of the universe in human form was sad "of the evils of this world," the world He created. Your Creator sighed for you in the same way before He healed you and made you His." After the last secret's told After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone After the last child starves And the last girl walks the boulevard After the last year that's just too hard There is love -- Andrew Peterson, After the Last Tear Falls "when you most need people, you don't need perfection - just to know someone gives a damn" "A CALL TO ACTION: "My brother's always [telling me], 'You should be more mysterious--boys like that.' But I'm not good at that. It would just make me more uncomfortable." "Loners want to kill you, but not for any particular reason, and they'd probably like you if they weren't being guided by the violent voices in their head." "No one wants to oil a snake these days!"
-- Her mom: "We're all safe." -- Jamie Bevill and her mother during Christmas-Decorating dinner, December 20, 2002 i'd throw out all my shoes i'd set up cans for friends to dump their shoes senseless shoes a pioneer of callouses lordy-be and bless my soul i'd be a barefoot spaceman the first you'd ever know" "The best way to have God's will for your life is to have no will of your own!" "Generations circle and each one atones. The sins of the father are seperate from my own. In Pilgrim's Progress, it's forgiveness that makes whole, and as time levels and consoles, I place the daisies in your bowl." "For a moment he just stared at her. Then, with an urf-urf-urf of laughter, he turned back to the controls." "It's on the internet.. so, then, it must be true." "Be at least as interested in what people can become as you are in what they have been." Blessed be the rock stars!" Get up for the shower.. wash and scrub and scour every part as if a cleaner man could better bear the shame.. "She was eating gnarly amounts of calcium." Homeless man to girl trying to give him money: "No, thanks, ma'am. I never work on Sundays." "Wow! I never thought I'd need a radar-guided spatula!" "Isn't it great that I articulate? Isn't it grand that you can understand? ... I can talk, I can talk, I can talk!" I believe that people laugh at coincidence as a way of relegating it to the realm of the absurd and of therefore not having to take seriously the possibility that there is a lot more going on in our lives than we either know or care to know... I suspect that part of it, anyway, is that every once and so often we hear a whisper from the wings that goes something like this: "You've turned up in the right place at the right time. You're doing fine. Don't ever think that you've been forgotten. When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of "No answer." It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, "Peace, child; you don't understand." CCM: You've spoken a lot more about crying than I ever thought you would. "Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccuptaions, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul." ""Don't go matchmaking for me, Ilse," said Emily wit a faint smile... "I feel in my bones that I shall achieve old-maidenhood, which is an entirely different thing from having old-maidenhood thrust upon you." "I wish Aunt Elizabeth would let me go to Shrewsbury, but I fear she never will. She feels she can't trust me out of her sight because my mother eloped. But she need not be afraid I will ever elope. I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art" "Tomorrow seems like a long ways away. But it will come, just like any other day... Deep inside, where the wounded creatures hide, I am afraid. Maybe I got lost somewhere along the way somehow. Please rescue me... Yea, though I walk through the valley of the dark shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me... Though I fear, though I am afraid, You are with me. Though I'm angry, tired, broken down and confused, You are with me. Though I sin like I've never sinned before, lose myself right out an open door, You are with me." "The invisible people agreed about everything. Indeed most of their remarks were the sort it would not be easy to disagree with: "What I always say is, when a chap's hungry, he likes some victuals," or "Getting dark now; always does at night," or even "Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?"" -- C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader "When People object... that if Jesus was God as well as Man, then He had an unfair advantage which deprives Him for them of all value, it seems to me as if a man struggling in the water should refuse a rope thrown to him by another who had one foot on the bank, saying, "Oh but you had an unfair advantage." It is because of His advantage that He can help." "But, you know, as a Christian, one of the big questions you always ask yourself is, "So we believe in Jesus, we believe in the teachings of the church, but what does that look like when it's lived out?" Because surely, one of the things that Jesus said that I think we often overlook is, "The person who hears my words and does them is like the wise man who built his house on the rock." He didn't say "the person who hears my words and thinks about 'em" or "whoever hears my words and agrees with it." But he said, "Whoever hears it and does it." "find that which gives you breath and grants you more to give "I have packed all my belongings. I don't belong here anymore. This pair of sandles, one pack to carry, this old guitar and this tattered old Bible. And I know I won't be afraid. 'cause I know, I know Home is where You are." "Open up your weepy eyes, everyone is dancing. Angels peer through sweet disguise, through a fire of cleansing. "Long hair, no hair; Everybody, everywhere:
Breathe Deep, breathe deep the Breath of God!" "You may be bruised and torn and broken, but
you're Mine!" "I don't deserve to speak, and they don't deserve
to hear it. It's makin' me believe that it's not
about me." "Kickin' against these goads sure did cut up my
feet. Didn't your hands get bloody as you washed
them clean?" "They say God blessed us with plenty. I say
you?re blessed with poverty. ?Cause you never
stop to wonder whether earth is just a little
better than the Land of the Free" "Computers will know everything in the 21st
century. They'll be like me in the 20th
century." |
